17 Comments

  1. A boomerang returned to Returns. The boomerang probably has nothing to do with the woman returning the sweater. It just returned, as boomerangs do, and she was in the way. And I don’t get it.

  2. What Mark said, except for his puzzling last sentence. The boomerang returned, as boomerangs do, and she was in the way.

  3. I’m with MiB. If you want your boomerang to come back, well, first you’ve got to throw it. Who threw it?

  4. It’s the “brick” joke. For people familiar with the “brick” trope. The woman’s going to a return counter and we’re expecting a set-up for so panel joke or banter when, *wham*, she gets clobbered by boomerang. Because the boomerang is returning from some other story with some other set-up but returning to this one because… that’s what boomerangs do– they return.

    (The “brick” trope: Someone starts to tell a joke about a brick but muffs it up or it ends with an bit of a squib. Other jokes are told. Then in the middle of an unrelated joke … *wham* someone gets hit by the brick from the first joke that got lost and wandered into a new joke.)

  5. @Woozy – as I last heard the “joke” some 50 years as go:

    Joke 1: An engineer calculates exactly how many bricks it will take to build his house. He then buys the exact number and builds the brick house. But when he is finished he has one brick left over. In embarrassment, he throws the brick up into the air and goes on his business. It does not fall to earth.

    Joke n+1: When he is flying somewhere, he looks out at the wing of the airplane and sees a large bird sitting, and says to his travelling companion: “Look! On the wing! There’s a bird – with my brick in its mouth.”

    Sometimes interjected with ‘Two monkeys sitting in a bath. One says, “Pass the soap.” The other says, “No soap, radio.”‘

  6. The version I know is:

    Joke 1: Three construction workers in City X have a content to see who can throw a brick the highest. The first threw a red brick, the second threw a blue brick, the third threw a yellow brick, which never came down.

    Joke 2: I went on a helicopter tour over City X, and while flying around, lit a cigar. The pilot told me I couldn’t smoke, so I threw it out the window. A few minutes later, I saw a giant bird fly by with something in its mouth, and what do think it was holding? (pause for a listener to say “the cigar”) The yellow brick.

  7. The version I know has the initial part of the Catlover one combined with a variant the later part of the Divad one. However, they are parts one and three of a three parter, with an unrelated joke (the “wait until we’re married and then I’ll give you a Sleeve Job” one) in the middle as the ‘unrelated’ joke a la woozy’s ‘other jokes are told’ detail. So my version is a chimerical mixup of the three already suggested. . . .

    (I believe I learned it in college back in the mid-1960s.) . . .

  8. When I submitted this to Bill (it was already in the queue), I added my thoughts:

    So many things WRONG with this comic:
    1) boomerang doesn’t have a receipt
    2) if the woman is returning that blouse it wouldn’t be on a hanger; it’d be in a bag
    3) if she’s just walking up to the RETURNS counter with a not-purchased blouse, WHY?
    4) WHO is returning the boomerang?

  9. “wait until we’re married and then I’ll give you a Sleeve Job”

    I wanna hear that joke! (My guess is that it’s in the style of “I’ll do anything you can describe in three words for $10 says the prostitute; Paint My House says the john”, that is, you expect a Sleeve Job to be something dirty, but after marriage you discover it’s just something tedious, like ironing maybe…)

  10. @lark: Boy makes pass at girlfriend, who doesn’t go along with it, but promises that if he waits until they are married, she’ll make up for it by “giving him a sleeve job.” He doesn’t know what it is, but it sounds exciting. [As this is a Shaggy Dog story, extend this basic situation for as long as you want.] Finally they are married. In the lim to the hotel he makes another pass, same story, wait until tonight and I’ll give you a sleeve job. [Extend basic situation some more.] Finally gets to point of in honeymoon suite, he’s panting with excitement, she says just one more thing, I’ll take a quick shower and then it’s time and I’ll give you a sleeve job! He moans in anticipation as she showers. He hears the shower cut off, sounds of toweling off, and his bride cries out temptingly, O.K., here I come, you’ve been very patient and now it’s time for me to give you that sleeve job! Then she steps out of the shower, slips on a cake of soap, breaks her neck and dies. End of story.

  11. On “The Two Ronnies”, Ronnie Corbett would sit in a chair and tell a mild joke. The thing was, he’d digress to half a dozen other bigger laugh lines before wrapping up the original story. A bit shaggy, but not a proper shaggy dog.

    The one I remember, here sans digressions:

    Small English village, around midnight Saturday. The constable is making his last round of the square when he finds a man standing naked by a streetlight.
    “Everything quite all right, sir?”
    “Yes, officer. Thank you for asking.”
    “Rather cool out.”
    “I’ve noticed.”
    “May I inquire as to why you are naked?’
    “Of course. I was at a party at the manor house up the road, and everybody was becoming most sociable. The hostess shut off the lights and shouted, ‘Take off your clothes and we’ll go to town!’ I seem to be the first one here.”

  12. I heard the “Sleeve job” joke but I heard it as a “Lube job”. Our hero hears about a “Lube job” being the absolute best service you can possibly get from a hooker, but has no clue about what it might entail. He asks his best friend “What’s a lube job?”. His best friend punches him in the face, knocking him down, and never speaks to him again. They guy looks up his old biology teacher, asks “What’s a lube job?” Gets punched in the face. Late at night, goes to the city, asks a streetwalker “Can I get a lube job?” Gets punched in the face. Determined to find out anyway, he does research to find the skankiest hooker who will do anything at all for the right price. Finds her. Timidly asks her if he can get a lube job. She says, “It will cost you $ 10,000 up front.” He goes and gets the money and pays her. She says “At exactly 11:00 tomorrow night go to room 1313 at the Hotel Cafard. Don’t knock. The door will be unlocked.” He goes there. She meets him in the room, hands him a huge tub of Vaseline and says “Take off all your clothes and smear this Vaseline all over yourself and everything in the room: the bed the furniture, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, even the light bulbs.” She goes into the bathroom. He smears the Vaseline as instructed. And as in the above version, when she comes out she slips on the Vaseline, falls and breaks her neck dying instantly.

    Now, as above, that’s he end of the joke, but inevitably your listener will say “So what’s a lube job, anyway?” When he does, you punch him in the face, knocking him down, and never speak to him again.

  13. “When he does, you punch him in the face, knocking him down, and never speak to him again.”

    Oog…. reminds me of the camel and the donkey in the desert joke.

    A camel and a donkey are walking through a desert that has only three watering holes. When they get to the first watering hole the camel bends down and drinks up all the water.

    “Hey, Camel,” says the donkey, “You drank all the water!”

    “Shut up, Jack-ass! I know what I’m doing!” says the camel.

    Then they come to the the second watering hole. The camel bends down and drinks up all the water.

    “Hey, Camel,” says the donkey, “You drank all the water!”

    “Shut up, Jack-ass! I know what I’m doing!” says the camel.

    Then they come to the the second watering hole. The camel bends down and drinks up all the water.

    “Hey, Camel,” says the donkey, “You drank all the water!”

    “Shut up, Jack-ass! I know what I’m doing!” says the camel.

    Then they come to the second watering hole. The ca….

    At some point eventually the listener of the joke is going to comment that they’ve already been to the second hole– Um, didn’t they already did the second watering ho…

    Shut up, Jack-ass! I know what I’m doing!”

    ….

    I hate to admit that I actually fell for that one once.

    Oh.. There’s also the “Totally Uncalled For Interruption” joke.

    Knock-knock.

    — Who’s there?

    Totally Uncalled For Interruption

    — Totally Uncalled F….

    *slap him in the face*

    … Some people are just mean.

  14. The problem with the “jackass” joke is if all the people have heard it or figure it out. Then they can leave the teller dangling forever.

Add a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.