Spanx

Cidu Bill on Oct 2nd 2017

oct02-pop-wonderwoman.gif

I know what Spanx is (are?)

Filed in Bill Bickel, CIDU, Doug Bratton, Pop Culture Shock Therapy, Wonder Woman, comic strips, comics, comics books, humor | 28 responses so far

28 Responses to “Spanx”

  1. Arthur Oct 2nd 2017 at 12:10 am 1

    I sometimes wish that comic artists would pass along ideas that
    don’t fit their drawing styles. A more realistic style would
    make it more obvious that she’s not slender and that she has fat
    rolls above her hips. I assume the idea is that the Spanx would
    have trimmed her up.

    And if that came in a flash, instead of having to be figured
    out, it might have been worth a smile.

  2. fleabane Oct 2nd 2017 at 12:20 am 2

    Wonder Woman has an average body. It’s only the Spanx that makes her so perfect.

  3. James Pollock Oct 2nd 2017 at 12:31 am 3

    Because women are not only expected to be smart and capable, but to look good while being smart and capable. So if you can block bullets with your wrists, but you look a little thick around the middle, you are no Wonder, Woman.

  4. Mona Oct 2nd 2017 at 12:46 am 4

    In the first place, you’d think her costume/uniform would be Spanx-like.
    In the second place, you’d think her costume/uniform would not fit without Spanx underneath.

  5. Kilby Oct 2nd 2017 at 01:46 am 5

    I’m really starting to disklike comics that depend on product placement. The need for a trademarked name could have been avoided simply by calling it what it really is, a “girdle“. However, then it would have needed a geezer tag.

    P.S. This one reminded me of the (much funnier) “Bullet Bouncing” strip.

    P.P.S. @ Mona (4) - Even if she had the same super power as “Amazon Girl“, one would think she would have noticed the error before leaving the house.

  6. Mitch4 Oct 2nd 2017 at 03:29 am 6

    Thanks for the link - - tho it wasn’t the point, I enjoyed the “pig leg” one.

  7. Kilby Oct 2nd 2017 at 05:03 am 7

    @ Mitch4 (6) - Glad you liked the link @5, and thanks for ignoring my silly “K” typo.

  8. Terrence Feenstra Oct 2nd 2017 at 06:24 am 8

    Sorry for going here but to me this raises the question: Can Wonder Woman become pregnant? And for that matter: Can Superman impregnate a human female?

    No, I don’t need a recitation of Larry Niven’s essay on this topic. Fresh eyes, please.

  9. James Pollock Oct 2nd 2017 at 07:11 am 9

    “Can Wonder Woman become pregnant?”

    Depends on which origin story you use. In the original origin story, the amazons of Paradise Island did not become pregnant. When they wanted children, they took clay and prayed to their deities for children, and then, if said deities acquiesced, they would convert the lump of clay into an infant.
    In later, retconned origin stories, amazons got baby amazons in the usual way*, involving pregnancy and childbirth.

    Wonder Girl, whose origins were intentionally unknown while I was still reading comics, got married.

    “Can Superman impregnate a human female?”
    Yes, assuming he can obtain a viable Kryptonian ova, and fertilize it in vitro, he could then surgically implant it into a human woman, thus impregnating her. Presumably, laser-beams shooting from his eyes would be more precise than any human surgeon with a clumsy knife, and super-breath would close the wound or something.

  10. Kilby Oct 2nd 2017 at 07:25 am 10

    @ Terrence Feenstra (8) - I’m not that knowledgeable about superhero origins: does Wonder Woman count as “human” in your eyes? If so, she would be one of the few females not subject to Niven’s physiological objections, and I don’t see any reason why she couldn’t have kids, except of course that Marvel and D.C. probably aren’t interested in starting a parallel line of “Rugrats” comic books.

  11. James Pollock Oct 2nd 2017 at 11:49 am 11

    “Marvel and D.C. probably aren’t interested in starting a parallel line of ‘Rugrats’ comic books.”

    May I suggest googling “Marvel power pack”? (Also, Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman got married and had a child, back in the 70’s.)

  12. John Small Berries Oct 2nd 2017 at 11:59 am 12

    “Can Superman impregnate a human female?”

    I would tend to doubt it. Unless, by some amazing stroke of luck, Kryptonians evolved a genetic system that was compatible enough with humans’ to permit it. Which, since animals on Earth (whose ancestors all spawned in the same ocean) can’t interbreed unless their genera are very closely related, seems highly unlikely.

  13. Winter Wallaby Oct 2nd 2017 at 12:18 pm 13

    JSB #12: That’s a fair point, but if we’re going to act as the comic book world is somehow a plausible, naturally-occurring world, there’s no way that convergent evolution alone has made Kryptonians and humans so completely identical-looking (they even have identical-looking domesticated dogs!). Even a little bit of difference - a slightly different smell, or eyes a little farther apart - would be pretty noticeable, and make the unattractive to each other. I have no idea what process has made Superman and Lois Lane so completely similar in appearance and behavior to be attractive to each other, but without knowledge of that process, it’s at least plausible that the same process has made them breedable.

  14. Kilby Oct 2nd 2017 at 12:55 pm 14

    @ JSB (12) - But nevertheless, it still worked for Sarek, and we all know how true-to-life all the science in Star Trek is.

    P.S. @ JP (11) - The existence of past idiocies neither indicates nor justifies future idiocy.

  15. Kilby Oct 2nd 2017 at 01:00 pm 15

    @ WW (13) - “I have no idea what process has made Superman and Lois Lane so completely similar in appearance and behavior to be attractive to each other

    Perhaps the were drawn by the same artist, and/or the TV/movie roles were cast by the same agency? ;-)

  16. Scott Oct 2nd 2017 at 01:07 pm 16

    Niven got the genetic mismatch also. “On the face of it LL [Lois Lane] could more easily breed with an ear of corn than with Kal-El.”
    As for Sarek, he was rich and powerful, so we can expect he used some Vulcan-class genetic engineering to produce Spock. Which got cheaper and easier to use by TNG time - producing Troi, for instance.

  17. James Pollock Oct 2nd 2017 at 01:48 pm 17

    “But nevertheless, it still worked for Sarek, and we all know how true-to-life all the science in Star Trek is.”

    Star Trek had an answer for why all the different species of aliens looked like human actors with bits of foam rubber glued to their faces, and also why the different species could interbreed.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chase_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

    “The existence of past idiocies neither indicates nor justifies future idiocy.”
    You’ve mistaken the point of the existence of Marvel comics. It is NOT to tell clear, coherent stories. It is to make money selling stories, of whatever quality sells. If past idiocies sold well, then you can be assured of the existence of future idiocies. (See also: Michael Bay).

  18. Ian D Osmond Oct 2nd 2017 at 04:23 pm 18

    Depending on version, Wonder Woman is somewhere between the best-trained of the basically-human Amazon fighters, to a god-killing divine being sculpted from clay and given life by multiple gods making her more powerful than any single god.

    Whether she can get pregnant probably has something to do with whether or not she’s actually made out of, y’know, person.

  19. Winter Wallaby Oct 2nd 2017 at 05:40 pm 19

    Aphrodite was made from sea foam, and was able to get pregnant from a human, Anchises. So Wonder Woman should be able to get pregnant from a human as well.

  20. Meryl A Oct 3rd 2017 at 01:43 am 20

    I am watching at this moment “Comicbook Men” (on free per view) and therefore I am reminded of a conversation in one of Kevin Smith’s movies (maybe “Mall Rats”, I don’t think it was “Clerks”) about only Wonderwoman’s womb could hold Superman’s baby.

  21. James Pollock Oct 3rd 2017 at 02:24 am 21

    “only Wonderwoman’s womb could hold Superman’s baby.”

    Well, except that A) there are still Kryptonian women. If Kryptonians frown on cousin-marriage, there’s a whole city full of Kryptonian womenfolk in Kandor. Also, B) Superman, like Flash, can time travel. So he could just fly back in time to before Krypton explodes, pick up a date, and of course don’t warn anybody that the planet’s about to explode, because reasons.

  22. Terrence Feenstra Oct 3rd 2017 at 08:34 am 22

    See what I did there?

  23. Brian in STL Oct 4th 2017 at 03:07 pm 23

    “Can Superman impregnate a human female?”

    Oh! Oh! There’s . . .

    “No, I don’t need a recitation of Larry Niven’s essay on this topic. Fresh eyes, please.”

    Aw.

  24. Minor Annoyance Oct 5th 2017 at 12:48 am 24

    There have been “imaginary” DC tales speculating on Superman and Lois having children. But on reflection, pregnancy might be the least of Lois’s worries during intimacy.

    On “Justice League”, Green Lantern time-travels and meets his adult son — who has wings like Hawkgirl.
    “May I ask who your mother is?”
    “I thought that was obvious.”
    Static Shock says something about Hawkgirl being one unhappy lady, laying an egg that large. One hoped he was joking, but genetic compatibility was evidently a thing in the DC universe.

    Slightly different issue: In Spider-Girl comics, Peter Parker hung up his tights after losing a leg and became a forensic scientist. He and Mary Jane had a daughter who turned out to have superpowers. Radiated-spider-induced mutations are hereditary, it seems.

    Meanwhile, the Pogo book “Desk Us All With Boston Charlie” offered an eccentric tale with Pogo and friends filling the various roles (a frequent feature of the paperbacks). In this particular tale, characters played by Pogo Possum and sexy skunk Mam’selle Hepzibah marry, and the last panel includes their cute li’l hybrid children. There were never any such critters in the actual comic strip, but Hepzibah was actively courted by most of male denizens of the swamp (mammal and reptile), who were in turned pursued by the belligerently amorous Miz Beaver (for her, subtlety consisted of shooting the petals off a flower with a revolver, trusting Mouse to take the hint).

    At Disney, the cat Pegleg Pete lusted after Minnie Mouse and Clarabelle Cow sort of hung with Goofy after Horace Horsecollar faded, but species mixing was generally discouraged. At Terrytoons, cats would alternately view mice as objects of lust and as food. At Warner, Bugs Bunny in drag attracted humans, dogs, and Tasmanian Devils.

    What was the question?

  25. James Pollock Oct 5th 2017 at 01:29 am 25

    “Static Shock says something about Hawkgirl being one unhappy lady, laying an egg that large. One hoped he was joking, but genetic compatibility was evidently a thing in the DC universe.”

    Hawkgirl’s origin has apparently been seriously retconned along the way, because there was a Hawkgirl character in the Arrowverse, but a “normal” human rather than an alien from the planet Thanagar as I remembered. (”Normal” in the sense that yes, she had wings, but they were magical in nature, rather than innately biological.) The Arrowverse DOES have aliens from space, but not, thus far, heroic ones. Yes, Supergirl does cross over, but is expressly NOT normally in the same universe as Flash, Arrow, or the Legends of Tomorrow unless there is a “crossover event”. It is not clear if the Arrowverse Krypton exploded with no survivors, did not explode at all, or exploded with survivors elsewhere and/or severely closeted.)

    “Radiated-spider-induced mutations are hereditary, it seems.”
    Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman got their powers from radiation, and their son Franklin has always had superpowers, as well. Inhumans, on the other hand, are not born with superpowers nor do they develop them naturally. Spider-Woman got her powers via an entirely different mechanism than did Spider-Man. Spoiler alert for those following the Netflix Marvel series. In one timeline, Luke Cage and Jessica Jones both have powers, and their daughter inherited both sets, eventually becoming Captain America.
    Back in the 60’s, radiation was giving lots of people superpowers: The Fantastic Four, the Hulk, the X-Men (indirectly, although the original version of Phoenix was caused by solar radiation), Spidey, Daredevil, (Gi)Ant-Man, and any number of villains (Sandman and Dr. Octopus come to mind from Spidey’s rogues gallery.)

    A final thought to tie this up in a conundrum: Did Marvel ever work out an explanation for why the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo astronauts didn’t come back from traveling in space with super-powers?

  26. James Pollock Oct 5th 2017 at 01:34 am 26

    Oh, the cartoon animals. I totally skipped over the cartoon animals.
    Yakko and Wakko Warner were nuts for “Hello Nurse”, and the network shot down many pitches for cartoons featuring Minerva Mink because they weren’t appropriate for children’s programming. See the music video for “Macadamia Nut”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZKzq_fKops
    It helps if you remember, or at least have seen, the music video for “Macarena”.

  27. Meryl A Oct 11th 2017 at 02:38 am 27

    James Pollock (21) - I didn’t say it. It is a line from one of the “Clerks” movies.

    They also have discussion on the fact that the later Star Wars movie Death Star is still under construction and that is/was wrong to kill all the contractors and their employees still on the Star working on it. (The earlier one having been finished when it was destroyed only had the Empire’s people on it in this discussion.)

  28. James Pollock Oct 11th 2017 at 10:54 am 28

    “They also have discussion on the fact that the later Star Wars movie Death Star is still under construction and that is/was wrong to kill all the contractors and their employees still on the Star working on it.”

    The bigger question is what effect all that metal had on the Ewoks when it fell from the sky on them (plus any radioactive materials that might tend to linger in the ecosystem.) In the early drafts, the cute little Ewoks were slightly less-cute big Wookiees.

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