iBizarro

Cidu Bill on Aug 18th 2017

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Filed in Bill Bickel, Bizarro, CIDU, comic strips, comics, humor | 25 responses so far

25 Responses to “iBizarro”

  1. Minor Annoyance Aug 18th 2017 at 12:52 am 1

    Joke is, an infrequently needed function undercuts the the iPhone’s prime virtue of portability to no discernible advantage.

    Thinking of an old magazine panel (as usual) which displayed a “Swiss Army Sofa”: a full-sized sofa attached to a small pocket knife as if it were a practical fold-out blade, rendering the knife effectively useless. Bizarro may have been inspired by the various speakers, keyboards, and other accessories that attach to phones and pads, bringing them up to the size of the bulkier items they replaced.

  2. billybob Aug 18th 2017 at 12:53 am 2

    unfortunately the VHS part isn’t as portable as the rest.

  3. Arthur Aug 18th 2017 at 01:09 am 3

    It’s close to the perfect one-upmanship device. It has an
    additional function the other will never have, and it leaves the
    listener speechless.

  4. Kilby Aug 18th 2017 at 02:43 am 4

    While I agree with the comments above, my initial reaction to this comic was to wonder whether VHS was archaic enough to work for the “strapping a dead tombstone to modern techology” motif. However, the VHS attachment has the visual advantage of looking like a major encumbrance. If the “dead technology”(*) brag were changed to “my iPhone can play all my Commodore-64 games”, it would have been rather difficult to interpret it visually.

    P.S. (*) - One reason that Word and Excel are such unreasonably large programs is that Microsoft never throws away an outdated feature or function, no matter how obscure, unusable, or unnecessary it might be.

  5. Kilby Aug 18th 2017 at 02:46 am 5

    P.P.S. Nuts. Blew another closing <i>italic</i> token.

  6. Olivier Aug 18th 2017 at 03:07 am 6

    Which is why when people annoy me with all the features of their “phones”, I ask them if that contraption of theirs also makes coffee and polishes shoes.

  7. Mitch4 Aug 18th 2017 at 08:31 am 7

    What, it doesn’t handle Beta tapes?

  8. Powers Aug 18th 2017 at 08:56 am 8

    Kilby — do you prefer your programs *not* to be backward-compatible with all of your existing documents?

  9. John Small Berries Aug 18th 2017 at 08:58 am 9

    Microsoft never throws away an outdated feature or function, no matter how obscure, unusable, or unnecessary it might be.

    The useful features, though, they’ll deprecate at the drop of a hat.

    I still keep finding reasons to miss the Macro Recorder feature of Windows 3.1.

  10. Kilby Aug 18th 2017 at 09:30 am 10

    @ Powers (8) - Perhaps the difficulty is unavoidable, but another thing I really dislike about Microsoft is that their document and spreadsheet files end up having so much programming power built into them, that they become convenient retainers for viruses.

  11. billytheskink Aug 18th 2017 at 09:55 am 11

    I just wish I could still save to .dbf from Excel…

  12. chemgal Aug 18th 2017 at 11:48 am 12

    Kilby, not back quite as far, but you can turn your smart phone into a Gameboy! https://hyperkinlab.com/smartboy-development-kit-micro-usb-version-hyperkin/

  13. James Pollock Aug 18th 2017 at 12:53 pm 13

    “While I agree with the comments above, my initial reaction to this comic was to wonder whether VHS was archaic enough to work for the “strapping a dead tombstone to modern techology” motif.”

    As a result of a long-overdue “empty-nest” cleaning out of various things I have held on to, I finally abandoned the VHS format last month. By which I mean, I haven’t touched a VHS tape except to move it out of the way, and haven’t had a VCR set up for at least ten years. I had a substantial cache of pre-recorded movies and decided I’d rather have empty space where they were stored.

    I literally can’t give them away. I put a “free” ad on Craigslist for these and other items. Everything else was taken.

  14. James Pollock Aug 18th 2017 at 12:54 pm 14

    “you can turn your smart phone into a Gameboy! ”

    But can you turn it into an NGAGE?

  15. Winter Wallaby Aug 18th 2017 at 01:12 pm 15

    Olivier #6: I have a friend who recently got a new phone, and one of the main reasons he cited for getting a new phone was that the “making phone calls” feature was broken. Seriously, he wasn’t being tongue-in-cheek. He wanted it fixed, but it wasn’t a critical feature, since he just did Skype calls instead.

  16. Ted from Ft. Laud Aug 18th 2017 at 03:41 pm 16

    “One reason that Word and Excel are such unreasonably large programs is that Microsoft never throws away an outdated feature or function, no matter how obscure, unusable, or unnecessary it might be.”

    I’m not a serious enough Office user to really judge that, but it certainly seems the case with Windows itself. My exposure to the internals was limited (I wasn’t willing to sign the NDA) but from what I saw, and certainly from the libraries and interfaces - layers upon layers of compatibility code and re-implementation of obsolete features and functionality. I guess it makes life simpler for the application companies - they never need to change/update anything - but it seems to make Windows itself a mess.

  17. Ted from Ft. Laud Aug 18th 2017 at 03:46 pm 17

    Winter Wallaby - not only do a large number of users of smartphones not really care that much (if at all) about the “phone” feature, but the phones themselves take a somewhat similar view - telephone calls are just another app, using features and hardware that are also used for other functions. After all, and iPod touch is for all intents and purposes an iPhone without the “phone” feature (and and iPad is basically just a big one) - the internals are not that different from an iPhone (other than missing the cell radio chip).

  18. chakolate Aug 18th 2017 at 04:08 pm 18

    Olivier @ 6 said:

    “Which is why when people annoy me with all the features of their “phones”, I ask them if that contraption of theirs also makes coffee and polishes shoes.”

    I usually just ask if their phone also makes phone calls.

  19. James Pollock Aug 18th 2017 at 04:38 pm 19

    ” I guess it makes life simpler for the application companies - they never need to change/update anything - but it seems to make Windows itself a mess.”

    Microsoft has very little interest in making things easier for the application companies (and that little comes from the fact that Microsoft is, itself, an application company).

    Rather it comes from pragmatic self-interest. It takes time and effort to develop and deploy applications. It takes time and effort to redevelop and redeploy applications to meet changed requirements. Given a choice between redeveloping a critical business application to deploy it to a new desktop operating system, or just keeping the same operating system in use that the application was originally designed for, many if not most organizations will stay with the old operating system. In fact, most have done this… Windows 7 is still dominant for this very reason, DESPITE Microsoft’s best efforts to make sure that Windows 10 can run nearly every application that runs under Windows 7. If Windows 10 DIDN’T make that effort, it would be dead-on-arrival.

    It was hard enough to do this when our only concern was “does it work?”. But now, desktop operating systems have to protect the users and their data from a worldwide community of people, some backed by national treasuries, who want to subvert the operating systems to their own ends. Every seam in every interface must be perfect in order to avoid exposing any security faults.

  20. Ian D Osmond Aug 19th 2017 at 08:45 am 20

    Kilby: this plays Commodore 64 games, but Apple wouldn’t let it be a full emulator.
    https://commodore-64.en.softonic.com/iphone

    There IS a full emulator for Android, though.

    So… is THAT one-upsmanship? “Sure, you’ve got a PARTIAL Commodore 64 emulator, but MY phone has a FULL emulator.”

  21. Kilby Aug 20th 2017 at 12:27 am 21

    @ Ian (20) - Such a pity that I never owned a C64 - it might have been amusing to try it out. On the other hand, I do still own a piece of DOS software that (still) works under Windows, even now, 35 years later.

  22. James Pollock Aug 20th 2017 at 03:38 am 22

    I was still supporting WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS up into Windows XP.

    However, my hobby of late has been taking old computers, taking off the obsolete version of Windows and installing FreeDOS, and then loading a library of old games.

    A Pentium 3 may be really bad at running modern Windows, but it does a GREAT job with Doom, Quake, Jazz Jackrabbit, Epic Pinball…

    I realized that it’s been 30 years since I played Zork… I don’t even remember how to get into the house, much less how to reduce the water pressure behind Flood Control Dam #3…

    As for the C64 emulation, “only” being able to play games and not having a “full” emulator means only being able to run 99.8% of the C64 software I ever might want to run. I spent a LOT of time back in the day waiting for games to load off the trusty 1541…

  23. Brian in STL Aug 22nd 2017 at 01:44 pm 23

    “I realized that it’s been 30 years since I played Zork… I don’t even remember how to get into the house, much less how to reduce the water pressure behind Flood Control Dam #3″.

    Zork the game that literally changed my life. I got hooked on playing Infocom, then at some point got the wild hair make my own game. That, through a couple steps, turned me into a C programmer. I started doing actual programming work at Megacorp, then into an MSCS at WUSTL.

    Oh, and you get into the house through the window, and with the dam you need to push the correct button (yellow I think) and use the wrench to turn the bolt.

  24. Meryl A Aug 23rd 2017 at 12:02 am 24

    Robert hates that I still prefer and use (and old version of) Wordperfect as my main word processing program. He now has me saving files as rtf files as he keeps telling me that it is being discontinued and I will have to be able to open the documents with something else one day (and I should go back and convert the last, hmmm, 20 years? of Wordperfect documents to same if I want to know that I always can access them (although pdf would work just as well I guess for the older ones).

    I still have to go to the help in Excel to find out how to do what I used to do (over 10 years ago at minimum) in Lotus 123.

    I have learned to make lots of spare backups of Paradox as it sometimes will loose a section of data.

    And of course, I still use Lotus Organizer, even if it won’t work with Android (or Iphone).

  25. Meryl A Aug 23rd 2017 at 12:18 am 25

    VHS? That’s new stuff. We still have Beta tapes. We also have a use Beta player which does not work (and a “newer” smaller one that does) as it was what I gave him as an engagement gift. (I figured he could tape MASH for me to see when I got to his parent’s house after night law school classes - what use would he get from the engagement ring?)

    We of course had duplicate tapes in VHS and also DVDs. When we had the bed bugs we had to get anything on tape or film out of the house before it was heated - plus an assortment of other items which could catch fire, explode, melt, etc. (including the fire extinguishers) We had limited room in our shed for bags to put the items in with bug strips that kill bed bugs so he had to get rid of tapes as we could not store all of them. The rule was to get rid of any Beta tapes that he had as VHS and any VHS he had as DVD - unless there was special material on the older one, not on the newer one or it was James Bond.

    The DVDs and CDs could stay in the heating. The 8 mm sound movies could not - and I mean real movies. He used to buy clips and occasionally full short films from Willoughby Peerless in Manhattan - old Marx Brother movie clips, part of “the Wizard of OZ”, etc. They had to go out to the shed in the bags.

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