Not

Cidu Bill on Jul 10th 2017

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Filed in Bill Bickel, CIDU, Mustard and Boloney, comic strips, comics, humor | 27 responses so far

27 Responses to “Not”

  1. Arthur Jul 10th 2017 at 12:08 am 1

    Vampires don’t die, so young vampires will never inherit their
    parents’ estates.

    Of course, vampires also don’t have children….

  2. larK Jul 10th 2017 at 12:36 am 2

    I get that he’s trying to wring the comedy out of this by surprising your expectations in twisting an almost cliched phrase, but it just doesn’t work for me: it just sounds like tortured syntax. “Son, someday none of this will be yours”, but of course, that just makes you wonder why he’s saying it at all. “Son, someday all this will not be yours.” But it already is not his, so it just continues to not be his… “Son, all this will some day never be yours” — almost as tortured as the original. “Son, someday all this will still be mine.” Hmmm… “Son, someday all this will still not be yours.”

    You don’t want to see the sausage being made. But you don’t want the finished sausage to be mangled so that it reminds you about the making process…

  3. Fluffy Bunny Slippers Jul 10th 2017 at 12:52 am 3

    He should be wary of these heart to hears with his son cause he might make a rather pointed retort back at him then.
    Also, Did he father that child by Miss Stake?
    Cause if so, she has a kink which he should be wary of, but lines up nicely with her name, Peg.

  4. James Pollock Jul 10th 2017 at 01:47 am 4

    “Of course, vampires also don’t have children”

    Tell that to Eddie Munster. He didn’t get the memo.

  5. narmitaj Jul 10th 2017 at 05:59 am 5

    Also, presumably a whole family can be vampired at once.

  6. Daniel J. Drazen Jul 10th 2017 at 07:15 am 6

    Vampires not having children? There goes the “Hotel Transylvania” franchise.

  7. padraig Jul 10th 2017 at 08:55 am 7

    If vampires don’t have children, whose kid is Grandpa Munster’s? Was he just some homeless vampire who’s been conning Lily and Herman all these years?

    Plus, (James Pollock @4) I thought Eddie was a little werewolf.

  8. larK Jul 10th 2017 at 09:18 am 8

    Transylvania 6-5000!

  9. Irene Jul 10th 2017 at 10:20 am 9

    I’m not sure if we can consider the Munsters canon for vampire lore…but traditionally, vampires are incapable of intercourse. Buffy screwed up on that one, too. Don’t get me started on Twilight.

    Vamps “reproduce” by not killing a victim, then having them consume human blood (usually their own, via the vampire that just nearly drained them).

  10. Irene Jul 10th 2017 at 10:26 am 10

    @padraig-

    I didn’t think about it until you mentioned it, but I think Eddie was a werewolf. This makes an interesting family dynamic. If Grandpa was the one who “turned” Lily, then she would consider him her father.

    Since ( even if they could reproduce) a Frankenstein-ish monster and a vampire would not bear a werewolf, perhaps Eddie was adopted after he was bitten by a werewolf.

    And Marilyn could very well be Lily’s niece ( or whatever she was) from before she became a vampire.

    I can’t believe I sat here and thought that through. lol Some days I ‘ll do anything to avoid housework and studying!

  11. Wendy Jul 10th 2017 at 10:30 am 11

    It would have been a very dated way to do the joke, but “Son, one day this will all be yours - NOT!” would work.

    And writing this made me realize that half the awkwardness is that he was working with “this will all be” instead of “all this will be”. I’m sure the second is more grammatically correct, though I know the first is a common way to phrase it. I chose to keep the author’s order for clarity.

  12. Boise Ed Jul 10th 2017 at 02:45 pm 12

    what larK [2] said.

    FBS [3]: :-) You too, larK [7]!

  13. Ian D Osmond Jul 10th 2017 at 02:46 pm 13

    “Son, no day will this all be yours” would, I think, be a better way to phrase it.

  14. James Pollock Jul 10th 2017 at 03:09 pm 14

    “Plus, (James Pollock @4) I thought Eddie was a little werewolf.”

    Eddie is offered to refute the claim that vampires can’t have children. Lily Munster is a vampire. If vampires don’t/can’t have children, someone should have told Eddie.

  15. James Pollock Jul 10th 2017 at 03:17 pm 15

    “traditionally, vampires are incapable of intercourse”

    Depends on whose tradition you’re following.
    A popular interpretation of Bram Stoker’s “sisters” is that two of the three are Dracula’s daughters (although Stoker doesn’t say this, it can be inferred.)

    Another flaw of the joke is that, while the child of a vampire would not expect to inherit, they could acquire property through any of the other mundane methods… by gift, by purchase, or by conquest.

  16. Vulcan with a Mullet Jul 10th 2017 at 03:38 pm 16

    But adult vampires can adopt child vampires, I suppose…
    Probably a better prospect than pairing an adult vampire with a human child!

    Hmmm.. maybe this explains all the legacy comic strip character families that don’t age….

  17. John Small Berries Jul 10th 2017 at 03:42 pm 17

    Ignoring the fact that there are numerous variations of what vampires can or cannot do after joining the ranks of the undead, there’s always the additional possibility that some vampire could have turned the nobleman and his child into vampires after the child was born. Or that after becoming a vampire, the nobleman turned his own child.

  18. Meryl A Jul 11th 2017 at 01:40 am 18

    I thought that Lily Munster is the bride of Herman, aka Frankenstein - not a vampire.

  19. Boise Ed Jul 11th 2017 at 02:29 am 19

    JP [15]: There is, of course, the 1936 movie Dracula’s Daughter.

  20. James Pollock Jul 11th 2017 at 02:47 am 20

    “I thought that Lily Munster is the bride of Herman, aka Frankenstein - not a vampire.”

    Lily was the bridge of Herman,,, NOT AKA Frankenstein, because Frankenstein was the name of the creator, not the created. And Lily Munster was a vampire.

    Wikipedia knows and tells all:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lily_Munster

  21. Minor Annoyance Jul 15th 2017 at 06:58 pm 21

    Fan theory time: In the movie “Munsters Go Home”, Herman panics at one point and calls out, “Car 54, Where Are You?” That leads me to infer the following:

    Lily was a mortal who married Muldoon, a New York cop. When he was fatally wounded she persuaded her father, a former cop who’d been bitten by a vampire, to call in a favor from one of his new Transylvanian buddies. Muldoon was done over with some new parts and renamed Herman, since his old identity was officially dead. Lily embraced the lifestyle to fit in with her father and husband, but was not properly a vampire (note she doesn’t drink blood, and seems to be keeping her father “on the wagon”). Eddie was born on Christmas Day before Lily and Muldoon were married, which in Hammer film mythology makes him a werewolf.

  22. James Pollock Jul 15th 2017 at 10:07 pm 22

    “Fan theory time: In the movie “Munsters Go Home”, Herman panics at one point and calls out, “Car 54, Where Are You?””

    Not to demean the time and effort you’ve put into your theory, but:

    Competing theory: Herman and Lily owned a television

  23. Cidu Bill Jul 15th 2017 at 11:32 pm 23

    But in your scenario, James — just to play Devil’s Advocate here — wouldn’t Lily and Herman have noticed the striking resemblance between Herman and Muldoon?

  24. James Pollock Jul 16th 2017 at 01:54 am 24

    TV characters aren’t very observant. As examples, the entire cast of Gilligan’s island never noticed the TV crew on the island, and Samantha Stevens didn’t notice that, all of a sudden, Darren looked different. The crew(s) of the Enterprise(s),( one after the other), never noticed that there were no bathrooms anywhere on the ship(s).

  25. Cidu Bill Jul 16th 2017 at 01:58 am 25

    True: but if Riker had commented on having seen the first X-Men movie, you’d have expected him to have wondered why Professor X and Picard not only look alike, but both speak with a British accent even though neither of them is British.

  26. James Pollock Jul 16th 2017 at 03:33 am 26

    “if Riker had commented on having seen the first X-Men movie, you’d have expected him to have wondered why Professor X and Picard not only look alike, but both speak with a British accent even though neither of them is British.”

    Would he have also complained about the boss character on American Dad, who looks AND sounds like these two, even though he isn’t British, either? How about the resemblance between Wesley Crusher and that kid in Stand By Me, a movie that coincidentally was about boldly going

    By the time Riker’s watching X-Men movies, they’ll have been digitally adjusted so that all of them have the same digitally-inserted actor playing the role… And that won’t be the only such adjustment. Future X-fans won’t have to be confused how come the guy from the original “Skins” series suddenly looks and sounds like the guy from “Cheers” and “Frasier”, (although there’s a built-in reason for why Mystique goes from looking like Rebecca Romign under too much prosthetics to looking like Jennifer Lawrence with too much CGI, the other changes are also quite noticeable, perhaps most striking is the difference between Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Deadpool in Deadpool. They both LOOK like Ryan Reynolds, but one of them sounds like him, too, and the other most definitely does not.)

    Heck, if this hypothetical Riker likes watching Marvel movies, maybe he’ll notice that Captain America looks a LOT like Johnny Storm, until all of a sudden, he doesn’t.

  27. Meryl A Jul 18th 2017 at 02:55 am 27

    I know that Frankenstein was the monster - but the movie was called “Bride of Frankenstein” with the same white streak in the bride’s hair. At least that is what I have seen - I admit to never seeing Frankenstein, Bride of same, Dracula or other “horror”movies. I have always been too scared of them.

    Heck, the pilot of Superman 1950s TV show (the mole men) gave me nightmares and I saw it only once.

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