Saturday Morning Ewww - March 18, 2017

Cidu Bill on Mar 18th 2017

Multiple People sent me the first two:

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Andréa: What’s with all the bathroom jokes lately?

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Filed in Baby Blues, Bill Bickel, Cornered, Dave Whamond, Ewww, Mike Baldwin, Reality Check, comic strips, comics, humor | 35 responses so far

35 Responses to “Saturday Morning Ewww - March 18, 2017”

  1. Stan Mar 18th 2017 at 12:10 am 1

    My advice to the character in the Reality Check comic, “A roll of toilet paper needs a toilet paper holder like a fish needs a bicycle.”

  2. B.A. Mar 18th 2017 at 12:53 am 2

    Dear Cornered convict: might I suggest you not leave the toilet paper on the wet floor?

  3. Mark in Boston Mar 18th 2017 at 01:09 am 3

    Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
    toilet seat so I couldn’t hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
    out the toilet paper so I couldn’t bend the bars, roll out the - roll the
    toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape.

  4. James Pollock Mar 18th 2017 at 01:28 am 4

    “My advice to the character in the Reality Check comic, ‘A roll of toilet paper needs a toilet paper holder like a fish needs a bicycle.’”

    Unless part of a roll of toilet paper’s purpose is to feed the “over or under” debate. In that case, lacking a toilet paper holder would keep it from fully realizing its destiny.

  5. Mona Mar 18th 2017 at 02:14 am 5

    MIB, LOL!

    OT, but not OT: Are there any men out there (especially those that do not live alone) that actually DO put a roll of TP on the dispenser? I don’t mean on the dispenser as shown in the picture, but on the dispenser as it is intended to be used. I base this question not only on my home life, but also experience in office situations and other homes.
    To be fair, I also know a woman who would not replace the TP as intended; she was a very [what’s the right word? Self-centered? Non-empathitic? Scatter-brained?] person.
    Funny story: An aquaintance was giving us a tour of his home. In the master bathroom, next to the toilet, was a beautiful four foot tall statue of a mermaid. She was holding a half shell in her hand, which had a roll of TP on it. I loved it! Easy to replace, just set the roll on the shell.

  6. James Pollock Mar 18th 2017 at 02:33 am 6

    “OT, but not OT: Are there any men out there (especially those that do not live alone) that actually DO put a roll of TP on the dispenser?”

    I currently live alone, and I split the difference… the main bathroom, which is used by anybody in my house, I put the TP on the holder. The bathroom off my bedroom, I don’t.

  7. Cidu Bill Mar 18th 2017 at 02:42 am 7

    The bathroom next to my office is essentially “my” bathroom (now that the kids are scattered) and yes, I replace the roll properly.

  8. DemetriosX Mar 18th 2017 at 06:45 am 8

    @Mona: I’m for more likely to replace the roll than my wife is. She usually leaves it like in the Reality Check comic.

  9. Kilby Mar 18th 2017 at 07:18 am 9

    @ Mona (5) - It’s a question of design. I hate those idiotic spring-loaded axles on roll dispensers, and if I had to fight with one of those, I might be tempted to balance the roll on top. However, when we moved into our house, the dispensers were even worse, with a stainless steel “flap” on top of the roll, intended to keep it from rotating backwards. I quickly replaced all of them with sensible “L”-hook holders, which are so simple to load that it’s even possible to do one-handed.

  10. Andréa Mar 18th 2017 at 08:38 am 10

    I’d also sent this one . . .
    http://www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2017/03/15

    When hubby & I shared a bathroom, he always put the TP on the roll. Now that we each have our own bathroom, I’ve no idea. However, if we have anyone coming over, I ask, ‘Is your bathroom company-ready?’, and I assume he makes sure it is . . .

  11. Mitch4 Mar 18th 2017 at 08:57 am 11

    I have one of those awkward-to-change spring-loaded rollers, recessed into the wall, so no way to place a loose roll. I usually swap in a new full roll when the current one is running low, then squash the old one a bit and wedge it in above the new one in the small space there. So for one or two uses it has to be pulled out and manually unrolled.

  12. Mark M Mar 18th 2017 at 02:18 pm 12

    I don’t follow Baby Blues but is the girl peeing while doing jumping jacks? Not sure how that’s even possible.

  13. B.A. Mar 18th 2017 at 02:35 pm 13

    IS that the girl?

  14. James Pollock Mar 18th 2017 at 02:43 pm 14

    “IS that the girl?”

    No.

  15. Mona Mar 18th 2017 at 04:20 pm 15

    Thanks for the feedback.
    Kilby, I seriously considered replacing our spring-type dispensers with the L-hook ones, but realized it would not make any difference. Hubby still would not replace an empty roll with a new one. We have the kind of paper-towel dispenser that sits on the counter. To replace the empty roll, simply grasp it, pull it straight up, put it in the recycle bin, get a new roll and push it straight down on the dispenser. Too complicated, I know. I love Hubby and I do not complain or nag him about these small insignificant things.
    Elaborating on my previous posting:
    I once worked at a company that was located in a building behind the owner’s house. The office did not have restroom facilities, so I used the bathroom in owner’s basement (where the laundry room, crafts room and TV room were also located). Owner, her husband and young daughter lived in house. I was always replacing the TP on the dispenser. Family would simply leave the empty rolls on the sink counter (even though the waste-can was right there) and also put the new rolls on the sink counter. I finally stopped replacing the rolls, joining in the way the family did it. It was amazing how many empty rolls would accumulate in between when the cleaning lady came in, and I also found it interesting that this did not bother family even when they had friends over. The rest of the house was not messy, but was always kept tidy.

  16. Mona Mar 18th 2017 at 04:26 pm 16

    This is what led me to believe it might be a man/woman thing:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG4VQCCatZw

  17. chuckers Mar 18th 2017 at 04:27 pm 17

    When I was living on my own, I replaced the roll as needed. It was easy-peasy in the place I had because rather than the annoying spring loaded silliness, it was essentially two L-shaped pieces coming out of the wall (as you looked down on them.) They had little springs in them that if pushed up from the bottom, the would fall back into place. Roll replacement was a simple matter of holding the roll underneath the old roll and pushing up. The old roll popped out and the new one took its place.

    Oh, and since it also had a flap/cutter attachment on top of that, it meant that the correct way to put in an new roll was to have the paper come out over the front rather than behind. Otherwise, you would be able to tear off a strip properly.

  18. chuckers Mar 18th 2017 at 04:32 pm 18

    (Mona snuck in before my response.)

    That also reminds me that I didn’t ever really bother throwing away the empty tubes and just stored them under the sink. Yes, I know it is weird and I didn’t really have a reason for doing so. I don’t do that now. However, there have been a number of times where it would have been nice to have a toilet paper tube for some craft project that suddenly comes up as is often wont to happen from time to time.

  19. Mona Mar 18th 2017 at 04:38 pm 19

    chuckers, I used to save our empty rolls and give them to a friend. She had a wiener dog that loved to play with them and chew them up. Now I sometimes cut the empty into slices, Kitty loves to play with them.

  20. Brian Mar 18th 2017 at 04:57 pm 20

    Both of my bathrooms have the dispenser on the same wall as the toilet, so it’s not very convenient to use. I put the rolls on the tank lid.

    That’s actually common enough that there are many toilet paper cozies available.

  21. Mary McNeil Mar 18th 2017 at 05:19 pm 21

    Aaaaannnnnndddd for those of us with cats, we keep it somewhere safe from clawing/unrolling/shredding. That is NOT on the holder. Just sayin’.

  22. Mary McNeil Mar 18th 2017 at 05:21 pm 22

    And, BTW, even of you on’t follow the strip, why would you think the kid in Baby Blues was a girl ?

  23. Mona Mar 18th 2017 at 06:01 pm 23

    “And, BTW, even of you on’t follow the strip, why would you think the kid in Baby Blues was a girl ?”
    In the second panel the black part of the sleeves waving around look like longer hair, which is typically used to designate girls in many comics.
    Mary, we have been fortunate, our cats have never discovered the joy of TP. We do keep the lid closed, as Baby Kitty was curious and an unhappy wet kitty running around the house was not a good thing. (I also thought it was a good excuse to always close the lid, something Hubby “learned” to do and remembers 95% of the time now.)

  24. D McKeon Mar 18th 2017 at 06:59 pm 24

    There are a variety of comic versions of this -
    I chose the one with the most selections:

    http://www.unravel.us/2017/01/06/toilet-paper-personality-guide/

    Also, if you happen to need to store several small electrical cords
    (travel phone charger, USB cables, etc.), coil each one loosely,
    and put the coil inside an empty TP tube - no tangling!

  25. Mona Mar 18th 2017 at 07:36 pm 25

    Enjoyed that, D McKeon!
    My Mom used your tip on her hand-held MixMaster (yellow, of course) cord back in 1960.

  26. Boise Ed Mar 19th 2017 at 04:34 am 26

    Of course, Mona [5]! I even make sure there’s a fresh roll in the nearby cabinet. And I would hope that the word for your acquaintance is “Scatter-brained,” rather than just “rude.” Oh, and the trouble with the mermaid would be that you probably have to use both hands to retrieve a bit of TP.

    As for your youtube [16], he could be puzzled about why she’s doing this demonstration, either because he’s too dumb to know what she’s doing or because he’s the sort who thinks that’s part of her job as housewife, or perhaps just because he doesn’t realize that he neglected to do it this one time.

    And I don’t see what the problem is with the spring-loaded mechanism. It works for me, and the roll can’t slide off the end like with the L-shaped holder. But then, neither can keep the dog from grabbing the paper end and running down the hall with it.

    D McKeon [23]: Thanks for the URL.
    Brian [20]: In Boise, we had what you call a toilet-paper cozy that sat on the floor and held 3 or 4 rolls. As a side benefit, I could keep it up against the bathtub to protect it from the dog.

  27. Meryl A Mar 22nd 2017 at 01:37 am 27

    Robert not only replaces the roll of TP, but gets upset if I “put it in backwards”. I never knew the direction mattered.

    I found this out some 36 plus years ago when we married. Zoom forward to 2011 when we bought our tiny RV. Yes, the direction matters. If we put the roll of TP in the RV’s holder backwards, it unrolls while driving and I have to roll it all up again.

    Our RV has an unusual “dump” system for same. Most have a hose which one attaches to the RV and the dump pipe and it stays attached while at the site. Our RV is low to the ground - it is a Chevy 3500 Express Van (see what I mean by tiny) - and cannot use the gravity system. We have a macerator and a pump. We only hook up the system when it needs to be, well, dumped. It is also a much smaller diameter hose. The system has been known to have some problems. To be avoided completely is any hair going down any of the 3 drains (sink, shower and toilet) or the hair will get tangled in the macerator and jam it. “Solids” need a lot of water to make them go properly through the system and if some time has passed since they went into the tank it helps. Lastly, there are owners who swear that one should never put TP down where TP normally goes - they bag it instead. We limit the use. As a result I know that other for the aforementioned solids - 3 squares is the exact amount needed to use. And - it is not as bad as in the movies where they make fun of the process.

  28. Meryl A Mar 22nd 2017 at 01:48 am 28

    Additional - after reading the rest of the posts -

    We keep our “backstock” of spare rolls of TP in the bottom of the upstairs hall closet - right behind the backstock of tissues. My husband is a Costco buyer. We buy TP once a year - sometimes a second time before the year runs out (tissues we buy once a year unless we have had a lot of colds). One of my “jobs” is to replace the TP in the bathroom cabinets. We keep 2 spare rolls in each ( I am not good at replacing them). When he replaces a roll he leaves the covering paper out for me to see that it needs to be replaced. He cannot bend down without getting dizzy to get the replacement rolls (or boxes of tissues) from the bottom of the closet

    For some reason there is great fear that he will not have any TP when he needs it. (This has happened at most twice in the 36 plus years - not a common problem). He will ask whenever I replace the rolls to the cabinets if we need to buy more. He thinks we need to buy more about halfway through. I point out that there are 4 rolls in the 2 cabinets combined, 2 replacement rolls in the RV (we use a roll in same every two plus years, so of course we need 2 spare rolls as we cannot just go in and buy same if we are down to the bottom of one spare roll if that was all we had) plus the started roll. If we ran out in the house we could go another month at minimum without running out, but panic ensues. Is this a male thing?

  29. Andréa Mar 22nd 2017 at 08:01 am 29

    “Robert not only replaces the roll of TP, but gets upset if I “put it in backwards”. I never knew the direction mattered.”

    Once upon a time, tp came with various designs, so yes, if you cared whether the seashells or whatever were upside down or rightside up, the direction mattered.

    And look how much we’ve discussed . . . toilet paper, of all things.

  30. Andréa Mar 22nd 2017 at 08:06 am 30

    When I emptied my parents’ house after my dad died, I found an entire specially-built cabinet FULL of toilet paper, paper towels, boxes of tissues and napkins. For ONE person . . . enough for a family of four for a year. At least. I even took pictures ’cause I knew no one would believe me . . .
    http://www.alldogssite.com/arizona05_06143.html

    I pointed this out to the real estate agent as a ‘bonus’ when I put the house up for sale.

  31. Olivier Mar 22nd 2017 at 10:25 am 31

    “Is this a male thing?”
    No. But this particular fear is common among people from former-communist East-European countries where toilet paper scarcity was recurrent.

  32. Andréa Mar 22nd 2017 at 11:14 am 32

    @31: That may explain my father’s hoarding; was in three slave labor camps during WWII (we come from Holland). I think once my Mother passed away, he lost control of that urge to ‘be prepared’ . . . another focus of his was food. I guess if you remember eating grass, food is a real focus of your world if you’re the only one IN that world.

  33. Kilby Mar 22nd 2017 at 01:23 pm 33

    We ran into amusing TP problems when travelling in Iceland. We had read that Icelanders were supposed to be a bit peculiar on the subject, but I didn’t really believe it, until we discovered that the woman who ran the B&B in Reykjavík was absolutely incapable of keeping her establishment properly supplied. We warned her repeatedly that the bathroom(s) were running out, and her “solution” was to purchase two rolls (as far as we could tell, for the entire house). I don’t think we actually ran out before we checked out, but I do remember that I filched a roll of paper towels from the kitchen, because it didn’t look like there were going to be any more replacements.

  34. Meryl A Mar 29th 2017 at 02:41 am 34

    Andréa -

    Not a design thing - it has to come off the top of the roll.

  35. Meryl A Mar 29th 2017 at 02:44 am 35

    Kilby -

    There is a commercial here for Cottonelle TP about hotels. The company uses cute bears in its commercials and advertises that it is softer and cleans better than other TP. In one of the latest commercials the bear family is at a hotel and the father, in a panic, announces that they cannot stay there as they don’t have Cottonelle and he will never get “clean”. The mother saves the day - she brought a multipack package with her.

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