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Comics I Don’t Understand » Comics That Might Have Made Us Laugh Out Loud in 2015, But We Had To Be Careful About The Language Until Santa Had Come and Gone

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Comics That Might Have Made Us Laugh Out Loud in 2015, But We Had To Be Careful About The Language Until Santa Had Come and Gone

on Dec 26th 2015

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Language advisory, obviously.
 

And if Morris Keesan did send this to me many months ago, my apologies…

lol-2015-fucking-moron-morris-keesan.png

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Filed in

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Uncategorized | 50 responses so far

50 Responses to “Comics That Might Have Made Us Laugh Out Loud in 2015, But We Had To Be Careful About The Language Until Santa Had Come and Gone”

  1. Richard Dec 26th 2015 at 01:02 pm 1

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    Jar-Jar Binks was less realistic than anything that ever appeared in the entire history of STAR TREK.

  2. James Pollock Dec 26th 2015 at 02:19 pm 2

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    Original brand Star Trek had, if not REALISTIC aliens, at least INTERESTING ones. You had aliens that consisted of blinky lights (The Lights of Zetar), little spinny red things (Day of the Dove), black-and-white humans (Let That Be Your Last Battlefield), floaty brains (The Gamesters of Triskelion), and a couple of different ones that looked like rocks (The Devil in the Dark, the one with Lincoln and Sarek whose title escapes me at the moment), and big lizards (Arena). OK, there were also original-model Klingons (multiple) and space-hippies (Journey to Eden)

    Beginning with Next Generation, however, all the aliens looked like human actors with bits of plastic glued to their faces.

  3. Chakolate Dec 26th 2015 at 04:11 pm 3

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    Agreed, James Pollock. And if Star Trek had had the same budget as Star Wars, who knows what might have been.

  4. Richard Dec 26th 2015 at 04:12 pm 4

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    I suppose every living thing in STAR WARS is an alien, meaning not from Earth, because the story takes place a long time ago in a galaxy far away. I acknowledge that many of the characters are interesting, but I don’t think any of them are realistic. Certainly not as realistic as Ferengi.

  5. Boise Ed Dec 26th 2015 at 04:15 pm 5

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    Richard [1]: Don’t forget the Horta (talking rock) and the tribbles.

  6. James Pollock Dec 26th 2015 at 05:04 pm 6

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    “if Star Trek had had the same budget as Star Wars”

    I’m pretty sure the Next Generation budgets were higher, and I KNOW that the ST movie budgets were.

    “I don’t think any of them are realistic. Certainly not as realistic as Ferengi.”
    One of the very first things a Ferengi says on Star Trek is “you allow your females to wear clothes?”

  7. Morris Keesan Dec 26th 2015 at 07:08 pm 7

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    The punchline made me laugh when reading it this time, so I suppose that there is a reasonable chance that I did send it to Bill months ago.

  8. MinorAnnoyance Dec 27th 2015 at 03:32 am 8

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    The Klingons were presented with minimal makeup in the original series; the spiny skulls and other trappings originated in the first movie. The Romulans and Vulcans were road companies of “Julius Caesar” with pointy ears.

    STNG had an episode where some characters went back in time to the tribble episode, mixing in footage from the original. When one of the STNG crew mentions how different the Klingons looked, Worf rather testily replies it was a period in Klingon history they do not discuss. Perhaps a vogue for cosmetic surgery?

    Another STNG episode revealed that an ancient race seeded the galaxy with DNA, which became the basis for sentient life that arose after its extinction. This supposedly explained why most of the Star Trek universe conformed to the same basic human model.

  9. Proginoskes Dec 27th 2015 at 03:52 am 9

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    @MinorAnnoyance [8]: Your third point, about the ancient race … They also talked about that in the original series. McCoy once said, “Now I know why so many aliens look like us.”

  10. Kilby Dec 27th 2015 at 07:01 am 10

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    One amusing detail that I picked up from reading “The Making of Star Trek” (several decades ago) was Nimoy’s reluctance to wear the pointy ears, which Roddenberry solved by promising Leonard that if the ears became too difficult or ridiculous, Gene would personally write an episode in which Spock would get cosmetic surgery.

    P.S. Luckily, it never happened, because Desilu probably would have finished post-production in the wrong order, resulting in an inexplicable sequence of “ears” - “no ears” - “ears+surgery=no ears” - “ears” - “no ears”, just like they randomized the sequence of “star dates” in the episodes as broadcasted.

  11. Craig T Dec 27th 2015 at 08:55 am 11

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    There was an episode on Enterprise that explained the sometimes lack of head turtles on Klingons, but I don’t remember the explanation. It may have been human DNA to deal with some disease.

  12. Powers Dec 27th 2015 at 09:25 am 12

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    You guys, you know there’s a whole wiki that explains this stuff, right?

    http://memory-alpha.com

  13. Powers Dec 27th 2015 at 09:26 am 13

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    Er, I mean http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/

    Dang it.

  14. farmer Dec 27th 2015 at 10:28 am 14

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    @Minorannoyance #8, the tribble revisit episode was DS9, not TNG.

    And for my two cents, I’d say most TNG aliens had much more distinct cultural traits than Star Wars aliens, which looked cool but were interchangeable.

    As for Ferengis, especially on DS9, I’d say they were pretty darned realistic, in the sense of a believable and distinct set of characteristics. After all, a culture doesn’t have to be just like us to be realistic.

  15. padraig Dec 27th 2015 at 12:05 pm 15

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    The most ridiculous thing to me about alien/human fiction (which I love) has always been how easily we communicate, considering completely different biologies, environments, etc. How’s a liquid ammonia breathing trilobite going to learn English, anyway? We can’t even communicate with frickin’ DOLPHINS.

  16. zookeeper Dec 27th 2015 at 12:37 pm 16

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    Babel fish - what a wonderful discovery.

  17. Richard Dec 27th 2015 at 03:58 pm 17

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    To farmer @14 - One of the DS9 producers said something along the lines of The Ferengi being the most human of all of the Star Trek species, including the humans. Granted, their culture is not admirable, and it is exaggerated for purposes of entertainment, but it does remind me of certain human behaviors.

  18. BeckoningChasm Dec 27th 2015 at 05:18 pm 18

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    One of the weirder sets of aliens on the original Star Trek was Sylvia and Korob in their true forms.

  19. Dave in Boston Dec 28th 2015 at 06:54 am 19

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    Unsurprisingly, when you move away from media-grade space opera you start to find more plausible treatments of language issues.

  20. James Pollock Dec 28th 2015 at 02:30 pm 20

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    “The most ridiculous thing to me about alien/human fiction (which I love) has always been how easily we communicate”

    “Omnilingual”, H. Beam Piper.

  21. Todd Dec 28th 2015 at 09:11 pm 21

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    When you’ve got about fourteen hours of true cannon source material, you don’t have much time to delve into alien psychology, particularly if you want to spend most of your time with big explosions (Star Wars).

    Star Trek explained the ability to communicate with aliens with the universal translator. Most alien races were advanced technologically, so the computers probably built a database by listening to their transmissions before humans ever met anyone. This doesn’t explain the not very rare pre-technical civilizations.

    Then they throw us a curve ball by introducing an off shoot race of the Bajorans, and the translator can’t immediately translate their language.

  22. Mark in Boston Dec 28th 2015 at 09:33 pm 22

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    The 1950’s and 1960’s were an unusual time in science fiction writing. The monsters and high adventure weren’t so important. It was a time of exploring ideas. Think of Ray Bradbury’s stories and Rod Serling’s screenplays. That’s that made Star Trek TOS what it was.

    I suppose you could say “2001: A Space Odyssey” took it too far and destroyed it. “Star Wars” deliberately took us back to the Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon serials of the 1930’s.

  23. Richard Dec 28th 2015 at 10:58 pm 23

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    Unless I missed it in a comment, I’m surprised that no one has brought up the “Next Generation” episode in which Picard had to learn to communicate with an alien whose race communicated entirely through metaphors. It was an entertaining episode, but the idea of communicating only through metaphor sounded awfully impractical.

  24. James Pollock Dec 29th 2015 at 12:45 am 24

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    ” It was an entertaining episode, but the idea of communicating only through metaphor sounded awfully impractical.”

    Not “impractical”. “Impossible”. If you communicate solely by referring to a body of literature… how do you transmit the literature in the first place? By making metaphorical references to…

  25. Meryl A Dec 29th 2015 at 03:25 am 25

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    BBC America loves TNG. Robert did not like it originally, but now loves it. We go to bed watching it, we wake up watching it. I am sick of it, I don’t know how many times they have run it over and over and over.

    Robert insists that the Ferengi are suppose to be Jewish and that it is not nice of them to make them so. (Think ears as a substitute for noses.)

  26. DPWally Dec 29th 2015 at 12:09 pm 26

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    Star Trek aliens are generally intended to teach us something about humanity, which is why they so clearly reflect or reject human traits. Star Wars aliens are just alien, it’s not about us.

  27. James Pollock Dec 29th 2015 at 03:47 pm 27

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    “Star Trek aliens are generally intended to teach us something about humanity,”

    Hmm. Obvious in the case of the two black&white fellows in “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield”. The Companion, definitely. All of the characters in episodes about the “law of parallel development” (Romans, Chicago Gangsters, the post-apocalyptic Yangs/Coms planet)

    Others, somewhat less so. Gary 7? Balok and the First Federation? The Gorn? The feeders of Vaal? Mirror Spock? Miri?

    Compared to Chewbacca, Greedo, Jabba the Hutt (original episode 4 version), jawas, Tusken raiders… I don’t see a categorical difference there. (There doesn’t seem to be any point in the alien-ness of characters in the prequel trilogy, beyond “hey, look what we can do with CGI!”)

  28. Mark in Boston Dec 29th 2015 at 10:42 pm 28

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    The aliens who only speak in metaphors remind me of the character in Lucretia P. Hale’s “The Peterkin Papers” who joins the Circumlocution Club, which requires all its members to take the long way around at all times. At the dinner table she cannot directly bring up the subject she wants to talk about; she has to bring up some other subject and get around to the one she wants.

    She is challenged by her brother, who points out that at any time when she is just about to reach her destination, say coming home by the long way around, she is at point A and home is at point B and she is just about to traverse a straight line which she is not allowed to do. So she must continue going the long way around at smaller and smaller scales.

  29. Dave in Boston Dec 30th 2015 at 12:34 am 29

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    Likewise, motion is impossible because in order for the first time derivative of your position to become nonzero, the second time derivative must become nonzero first, and so forth.

    Back to #22… the written SF did not go “back”. Larry Niven and James Tiptree, Jr. are probably the most canonical examples of 70s written SF.
    (And for that matter, the 50s and the 60s were very, very different…)

  30. James Pollock Dec 30th 2015 at 03:53 am 30

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    I believe from context that #22 is intended to refer to writing for mass media “SF”, rather than for literary SF.
    Technically, Larry Niven IS a Star Trek writer, because “The Soft Weapon” was adapted for the ST animated series.

    In literary SF, the early works tended to “Space Opera”… large, panoramic vistas, sweeping scales, incredibly good good guys vs. incredibly bad bad guys. Characterization was often… minimal. The “New Wave” writers came in and brought a focus on characters and less focus on gee whiz science.
    This is not to say that big ideas weren’t there… the “big 3″ were all idea men… but the covers of the magazines were BEMs and scantily-clad women, because that’s what buyers were looking for on the covers of their science-fiction magazines. Then the 70’s brought a resurgence of “hard” sf, which had a focus on big ideas again.

    Apply Sturgeon’s Law, pick through the jewels amongst the dross, and you’ll find something to like.

  31. Dave in Boston Dec 30th 2015 at 07:50 pm 31

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    Well, I would not say that the “New Wave” period was into characterization; I would have said that came later along with (brought by) the feminist wing. The New Wavers were more into literary experimentalism. But, that’s a quibble.

    Anyway, by the standard you advance Philip K. Dick is one of the most successful Hollywood writers ever, which is a crock. :-p But I don’t think you’re actually disagreeing with me.

  32. Craig T Dec 31st 2015 at 01:49 am 32

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    “Gary 7″ was, I believe, an in-show pilot for a proposed show.

    I think what the New Wave authors brought was less reverence for science. An idea didn’t have to be theoretically possible to be used to tell the story.

  33. James Pollock Dec 31st 2015 at 04:42 am 33

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    “I would not say that the “New Wave” period was into characterization; I would have said that came later along with (brought by) the feminist wing.”

    Actually, it started earlier, with Campbell proteges. It was just that Campbell really liked one type of character, and so that one characterization dominates. Feel free to chicken-and-egg whether Heinlein wrote “capable man” stories because Campbell bought them, or whether Campbell bought “capable man” stories because Heinlein wrote them.

    The “old wave” were scientists trying their hands at writing fiction. The “New Wave” were fiction writers trying their hand at science.

    “Anyway, by the standard you advance Philip K. Dick is one of the most successful Hollywood writers ever, which is a crock.”
    Stephen King, and Micheal Crichton, too.

    “‘Gary 7′ was, I believe, an in-show pilot for a proposed show.”
    The term you want is “backdoor pilot”.
    In fact, “Assignment: Earth” (the Gary 7 episode) is used as an example in this wikipedia article.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_pilot (See section 2.3)

  34. Dave in Boston Dec 31st 2015 at 03:04 pm 34

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    Ok, I’ll bite. Which Heinlein stories/novels would you characterize as primarily character-driven rather than idea-driven? That is, where the narrative and whatnot flows from the experience and development of a character?

    If you cite Lazarus Long I’ll be obliged to object on the grounds that Lazarus Long is a stock character with no development.

  35. Craig T Dec 31st 2015 at 06:19 pm 35

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    Lazarus Long is just the thread that ties Time Enough for Love together. But I hated that book, so never mind.

  36. Arthur Dec 31st 2015 at 07:31 pm 36

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    Here are some Heinlein stories that I think are character-driven:

    Requiem
    The Menace From Earth
    The Man Who Traveled in Elephants

  37. Meryl A Jan 6th 2016 at 03:02 am 37

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    As I watching the latest Star Wars - which we did not manage to wait out the crowds and I had a man next to me who seemed to need to put his elbow in “my space” which got him a shot in the elbow each time he did, while Robert had 2 women of around 20 years old with their cell phones on and being constantly checked - I had the thought that the 2 are opposite thoughts. Discounting that Star Wars is suppose to be in the past and supposing both are in the future - Star Wars is showing a future of constant need for war where the galaxy/universe, whatever is under a dictator, while Star Trek shows a hopeful future where many planets have joined together in relative harmony and try to get along with those on other planets.

  38. James Pollock Jan 6th 2016 at 04:16 am 38

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    “Which Heinlein stories/novels would you characterize as primarily character-driven rather than idea-driven? That is, where the narrative and whatnot flows from the experience and development of a character?”

    Stranger in a Strange Land. Friday. Most of “Moon is a Harsh Mistress”.
    Jerry Was a Man.

    But really? Pick ANY Heinlein story. Now compare it to ANY Doc Smith story. See the difference?

    As for Lazarus Long being a “stock character”… that’s Campbell’s influence. He wanted stories about the “capable man” The writers most shaped by him obliged his preference.

  39. James Pollock Jan 6th 2016 at 04:24 am 39

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    “Star Wars is showing a future of constant need for war where the galaxy/universe, whatever is under a dictator, while Star Trek shows a hopeful future where many planets have joined together in relative harmony and try to get along with those on other planets.”

    That’s a particularly rosy view of Star Trek.

    Star Trek features wars with the Romulans, the Klingons, the Gorn, conflict with the First Federation, and by Next Generation you have the Cardassians and the Borg, as well. There was some big conflict in DS9 and Voyager, too, I’m sure, although I didn’t watch enough of either. And that’s only counting the continuing battles. A list of one-episode wars and war-like activities would be another couple of dozen paragraphs.

    By contrast, Star Wars only has three… the secession wars, the clone wars, and the rebellion. The difference is, Star Trek’s had hundreds more hours of TV episodes to tell the stories not related to the wars, is all.

  40. Boise Ed Jan 6th 2016 at 09:21 pm 40

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    James [39], I had forgotten that the Federation fought Kim, Khloé, Kylie, and Kourtney. (Okay, I cheated; I had to look up their forenames.) Not to mention the tennis player, Bjorn.

  41. James Pollock Jan 6th 2016 at 10:38 pm 41

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    “I had forgotten that the Federation fought Kim, Khloé, Kylie, and Kourtney.”

    Were any of them even ALIVE when ST:NG was first-run?

  42. Dave in Boston Jan 10th 2016 at 04:42 pm 42

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    The Menace from Earth I’ll grant. Stranger in a Strange Land and Moon is Harsh Mistress are both ones I’d specifically been thinking of when I implied there weren’t (m)any. Also on reflection I might grant Podkayne although I need to read it again to form a coherent opinion.

    anyway none of them that I can think of really compare in characterization to later character-centric novels. E.g. the pile of Miles Vorkosigan novels is about Miles (except for the ones mostly about his mom, or brother, or girlfriend, etc.) — I would not say these are as good as Heinlein’s better works overall, but they’re fundamentally different.

  43. Meryl A Jan 12th 2016 at 04:23 am 43

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    James Pollack (39) - There is no dictator in Star Trek and many planets are making an attempt to get along. No world is perfect.

  44. Meryl A Jan 12th 2016 at 04:24 am 44

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    Opps, it is late - I mean they are not fighting a dictator or similar as the overall plotline.

  45. James Pollock Jan 12th 2016 at 09:15 am 45

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    “There is no dictator in Star Trek”

    KHAN!!!

  46. Cidu Bill Jan 13th 2016 at 02:17 am 46

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    Quite a few dictators in Star Trek, actually.

    Regarding Gary 7, it didn’t occur to me until years later that he was essentially a Doctor Who ripoff (perky companion and all).

  47. Winter Wallaby Jan 13th 2016 at 03:01 am 47

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    Meryl: The Federation is often presented as a near-utopia of harmony (particularly in TNG) although there are occasional glitches in that utopia. OTOH, the Star Trek galaxy itself is chock-full of wars and dictators. The bulk of the DS9 storyline in the later seasons was a continual series of wars, mostly with the Dominion which was easily as tyrannical as the Empire.

  48. Cidu Bill Jan 13th 2016 at 03:15 am 48

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    Winter, I don’t think I’m alone in thinking of DS9 as the anti-ST

  49. Kilby Jan 13th 2016 at 08:29 am 49

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    @ Bill (46) - I thought Gary 7 was more like “The Avengers” than “Dr. Who” (but I’ve never seen much of either BBC series).

  50. Meryl A Jan 20th 2016 at 02:26 am 50

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    I guess all this is why Robert was confused at my comment and another example of how my mind works oddly skewed.

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