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Comics I Don’t Understand » This reminded me of something I’d been wondering about…

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This reminded me of something I’d been wondering about…

on Jan 24th 2014

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Whose job was it to determine just how cold a witch’s tit is?

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Filed in

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Uncategorized | 32 responses so far

32 Responses to “This reminded me of something I’d been wondering about…”

  1. Fluffy Bunny Slippers Jan 24th 2014 at 04:35 pm 1

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    Jack Frost tried to find out how cold a witch’s tit is when he was a baby…

  2. Judge Mental Jan 24th 2014 at 05:00 pm 2

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    First, let me give a preemptive “This is not labeled as a CIDU”. No one needs to try to explain it.

    Secondly, depending on the witch (e.g. Michelle Pfeiffer in “Witches of Eastwick”) I would rather have *that* job than finding out how cold a well-digger’s (redacted) is.*

    * - I am sure this is a colloquialism and some people here have either never heard this expression or have heard a slightly modified version.

  3. yellojkt Jan 24th 2014 at 05:08 pm 3

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    “Colder than yesterday’s sushi for breakfast.”

    Just an update for modern times.

  4. Bob in Nashville Jan 24th 2014 at 05:29 pm 4

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    Props to the boy. Now *that’s* cold.

  5. Mary in Ohio Jan 24th 2014 at 05:35 pm 5

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    In the Maleus Maleficarum - the official handbook in the Middle Ages for hunting witches, the witches “teat” is a third teat in some unnatural place. It was cold because it was not a part of the natural body. It’s one of the signs they searched for on people accused of witchcraft. And I bet you didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition!

  6. Chakolate Jan 24th 2014 at 09:59 pm 6

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    “Cold as a mother-in-law’s heart.”

  7. Chakolate Jan 24th 2014 at 10:01 pm 7

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    Forgot to subscribe. Again.

  8. Jeff Lichtman Jan 24th 2014 at 11:51 pm 8

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    Reminds me of a “Rhymes with Orange” (which I haven’t been able to find on line). A witch is on an examining table in a doctor’s office. The witch has a hopeful smile on her face as the doctor says, “Not bigger. Not smaller. You want me to make them. . . colder?”

  9. Mark in Boston Jan 25th 2014 at 12:33 am 9

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    I remember when the Smothers Brothers would always push against the censors on their TV show. In one sketch Tommy Smothers was driving a dog sled in Alaska and he said “Brrrr! It’s colder than a witch’s … CHEST!”

  10. Cidu Bill Jan 25th 2014 at 12:58 am 10

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    Jeff, I’m pretty sure that comic showed up here with an Arlo Award tag

  11. minorannoyance Jan 25th 2014 at 02:53 am 11

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    I’d guess the thinking was that a witch, being the exact opposite of a good, warmhearted mother (or lover?), would offer the opposite of a warm and nurturing presence.

  12. Detcord Jan 25th 2014 at 04:17 am 12

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    The phrase my father used was, “… colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra” - and in Michigan, that’s mighty cold.

  13. furrykef Jan 25th 2014 at 04:38 am 13

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    I’ve always had nearly the same thought: “Just how cold is a witch’s tit?”

  14. labradog Jan 25th 2014 at 09:57 am 14

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    “Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra, riding an aluminum broomstick 30,000 feet over the North Pole. In wintertime.” was the extended play version when I was a kid.

  15. padraig Jan 25th 2014 at 11:49 am 15

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    “Colder’n a witch digger’s brass elbow.” — Robin Williams, more or less. (Works better the faster you say it.)

  16. The Dodger Jan 25th 2014 at 12:46 pm 16

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    Jeff Lichtman - see http://comicskingdom.com/comics for Rhymes with Orange.

    Cold as the balls on a brass monkey - Yogi Yogensen from “Yingle Bells”: http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-383759.htm

  17. fj Jan 25th 2014 at 01:50 pm 17

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    Appropriately enough, on Friday when this ran, most of the schools in my Michigan county were closed due to excessive (below -20 deg F) wind chill.

  18. Bob in Nashville Jan 25th 2014 at 03:14 pm 18

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    @ Mary in Ohio 5

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

    (OK. Someone had to say it.)

  19. Detcord Jan 25th 2014 at 04:13 pm 19

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    Bob in Nashville (18)

    Your comment caused me to look back to Mary’s response, which is a CIDU* for me.

    *Comment I don’t understand - and yes, I know the Monty Python sketch.

  20. Lost in A**2 Jan 25th 2014 at 05:36 pm 20

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    Detcord, it’s exactly as Mary said, except that she must have thought it close to Christmas time: she dropped an ‘l’, but not quite no l.

    Wikipedia can provide more information about the Malleus Maleficarum (”Hammer of the Witches”), if you are interested.

  21. Mary in Ohio Jan 25th 2014 at 05:44 pm 21

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    Shoot, I didn’t think my spelling looked right.

  22. Molly J Jan 25th 2014 at 05:54 pm 22

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    First time I came across “colder than a witch’s tit” was in the early pages of Catcher in the Rye. I guess Salinger didn’t come up with that one on his own, though, huh?

  23. PepperjackCandy Jan 25th 2014 at 09:43 pm 23

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    My mom (a former elementary teacher herself) used to use the term “colder than a school teacher’s heart.”

    She also told me the “witch’s tit” one, though she didn’t use it as frequently as the other.

  24. Boise Ed Jan 26th 2014 at 02:41 am 24

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    The OED (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309263) says that the first found instance of “colder than a witch’s tit” is from 1932 — much more recent that I had expected.

  25. Dave in Boston Jan 26th 2014 at 03:15 am 25

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    The Dodger/Jeff Lichtman: Or, you know, http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/.

  26. Jeff Lichtman Jan 26th 2014 at 04:15 am 26

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    I meant that I couldn’t find the particular strip, not that I couldn’t find Rhymes with Orange at all.

  27. fj Jan 26th 2014 at 10:16 am 27

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    The variants of the brass monkey saying are older, documented back into the first half of the 19th century (when brass monkeys were particularly popular). Examples:

    “‘It was ‘ot enough to melt the nose h’off a brass monkey.’” — Melville (from “Omoo”), 1847
    “It would freeze the tail off a brass monkey” — C.A. Abbey, 1857

    My guess would be that the tail was replaced by racier alternatives, which led rise to non-monkey alternatives (as in the Frazz cartoon) that kept the brass element. I would not at all be surprised if the brass bra version of the witch saying predates the truncated form (although I cannot back that claim with data). At any rate, tying the phrase to 15th century witch hunting practices seem to be a rather unsubstantiated jump.

  28. zookeeper Jan 26th 2014 at 12:43 pm 28

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    And leave us not forget the poor well digger’s posterior. Heard as a child: The Ark had sprung a small leak, and Noah told the dog to put his nose against it. As it grew larger he had his wife put her hand against it. Larger still and he sat against it until landfall. To this day a dog’s nose is cold, a woman’s hand, and a man will stand with his back to the fire.

  29. Meryl A Jan 29th 2014 at 02:08 am 29

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    Mary in Ohio - I guess that is why the fortune teller in “Mall Rats” thought she needed a 3rd nipple.

  30. Terrence Feenstra Jan 1st 2018 at 10:24 am 30

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    Well done, Mary!

  31. Andréa Jan 1st 2018 at 10:38 am 31

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  32. Ian Osmond Jan 1st 2018 at 05:59 pm 32

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    As it turns out, two of the people I dated in college were Wiccan. So, y’know, my experience is “not particularly.”

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