Any identity thieves out there who’d like a completed copy of somebody’s mortgage application?

Cidu Bill on Feb 19th 2013

Yup, somebody attached it to an e-mail to Idiot Bill Bickel, at the address he gives out.

I’ve long since accepted the fact that IBB is a complete moron: what startles me now is that when I inform his clients that they’ve sent me their personal information because they’re working with a man to whom the concept of e-mail is far too complex, they are apparently unconcerned.

I really have to assume there’s a community in Seattle entirely populated by immigrants from Chelm.

Filed in Bill Bickel, Bill Bickels, Chelm | 32 responses so far

32 Responses to “Any identity thieves out there who’d like a completed copy of somebody’s mortgage application?”

  1. Pinny Feb 19th 2013 at 06:48 pm 1

    I enjoy your “Wise men of Chelm” reference. I see that you have inaugurated “Chelm” as a tag, so I assume that you expect to be using it more often. I can’t wait.

  2. Kedamono Feb 19th 2013 at 07:02 pm 2

    Nope, they are all Swedish Täljetokar from Södertälje in Seattle…

  3. Kedamono Feb 19th 2013 at 07:05 pm 3

    I looked him up. If it’s the same Bill Bickel, he’s from Lynnwood, WA, which explains a lot of things… :p

  4. Frosted Donut Feb 19th 2013 at 09:06 pm 4

    As Kedamono alludes to, Lynnwood is not the most glamorous suburb of Seattle. In fact, it’s sort of “chickenville”:”The area was originally platted, developed, and sold as 1-acre lots designed for raising chickens.” [Wikipedia]

    Today it’s mostly strip malls and underwater homes. So yeah, it makes perfect sense that IBB would be from Lynnwood. Heck, he could probably get elected Mayor and you can imagine what sort of e-mails you’d get then!

  5. James Pollock Feb 19th 2013 at 10:56 pm 5

    Well, if he was from Medina, he could afford to have somebody do his computery stuff for him.

  6. Meryl A Feb 19th 2013 at 11:20 pm 6

    Maybe we should all start telephoning him and ask if he is the Bill Bickel online. LOL

  7. Kedamono Feb 20th 2013 at 12:35 am 7

    That might work Meryl A, just don’t email him… because… well, you know…

  8. Arthur Feb 20th 2013 at 01:08 am 8

    If IBB is having people send personal, financial information to
    an untrusted (in a technical sense) person, is he breaking any
    laws? If he’s a Realtor, would the Realtor’s association
    (whatever it’s called) be interested in this situation?

  9. Proginoskes Feb 20th 2013 at 02:00 am 9

    Chelm??? Are you insulting us Polish folks again, Bill?

    I picked up a used book from Goodwill by F Richard Hauck, called _Deciphering the Geography of the Book of Mormon_. In the inside front cover, there is a map, with a region identified as: Land of Moron.

    (I am not making this up; there is no way I could make this up. Remember that the angel who spoke to Joseph Smith was named Moroni.)

    Where is the Land of Moron? Just southeast of Jalapa, Mexico, and west of Veracruz.

  10. Cidu Bill Feb 20th 2013 at 04:24 am 10

    I’m familar with Chelm primarily through the writing of Isaac Bashevis Singer, so I claim a Jewish source.

  11. Morris Keesan Feb 20th 2013 at 08:42 am 11

    This is unfair to the people of Chelm. Their idiocies were much more clever and amusing than this.

  12. Keera Feb 20th 2013 at 11:11 am 12

    I had to look up Chelm. The Norwegian equivalent of Chelm is Molbo, which is a town in Denmark. The “carried on a table” joke here is exactly the same joke told of the Molbos (they were trying not to trample the wheat).

  13. Lord-z Feb 20th 2013 at 02:15 pm 13

    Molbo is actually the demonym for people from Mols, a peninsula of Djursland, itself a peninsula of Jutland. I didn’t know the stories of them were common in Norway.

  14. Boise Ed Feb 20th 2013 at 05:25 pm 14

    Keera, with I was a kid in Chicagoland in the 1950s, we heard and told lots of Pollack jokes. I think I got most of them from my friend Eddie Szymanski. Later, I heard a lot of “moron” jokes, and they were mostly the same jokes. Still later, at The U. of Texas, I heard the same jokes as aggie jokes. I’ve since heard some of them with various ethnic associations (about Georgians as told by a Russian, for instance). It makes me wonder if the same jokes were told by ancient Greeks about Romans.

    This, BTW, is the first time I’ve heard about Chelm, unless some of Johnny Carson’s guests mentioned it and I just don’t remember it.

  15. Kedamono Feb 20th 2013 at 07:30 pm 15

    I learned about Chelm in Every Goy’s Guide to Common Jewish Expressions by Arthur Naiman. Of course I just looked it up in Amazon and in good condition it goes for $116! Oy and Vey!

    Every country has a Chelm.

    An I think Arthur is right. If IBB is having his clients send personal information to an email address he cannot deny knowing is incorrect, he is guilty of exposing them to identity theft and at the very least the real estate firm he works for should know about it.

  16. James Pollock Feb 20th 2013 at 10:03 pm 16

    It’s actually possible that IBB gave out the RIGHT email address, and it’s the CLIENT who made the mistake of using the WRONG one (right and wrong as used here being from IBB’s perspective). I’d suspect this to be true, or there’d be WAY more than one such misdirected email.

  17. James Pollock Feb 20th 2013 at 10:11 pm 17

    “Keera, with I was a kid in Chicagoland in the 1950s, we heard and told lots of Pollack jokes.”

    Those lasted into the 70’s, and are the reason I’ve been in hundreds of fistfights.

  18. Cidu Bill Feb 21st 2013 at 12:18 am 18

    That might have happened in some cases, James; but since IBB cc’s his own outgoing mail to my address (and presumably never wonders why those copies never make it to his inbox; probably blames Google)…

  19. Proginoskes Feb 21st 2013 at 02:05 am 19

    Bill Bickell wrote (#10): “I’m familar with Chelm primarily through the writing of Isaac Bashevis Singer, so I claim a Jewish source.”

    Go to Wikipedia and look up “Chelm”. The only country that has a city by that name is Poland; there are several in the country.

    This is obviously a slur against my people. And Jews must die for insulting the Polish, if they are continuing this type of hatred!

  20. Kilby Feb 21st 2013 at 03:16 am 20

    @ Proginoskes (19) - Satirical trolling is still trolling.

  21. Mark in Boston Feb 22nd 2013 at 01:55 am 21

    I’ve seen people do real Chelm things.

    Like the little old lady who always turned out all the lights in the hallways of her apartment building. You see, the building was not very well maintained, and when a light burned out it would be weeks before the landlord would replace it, and when the lights are burned out the hallways are dark and dangerous, and so she always turned off all the lights so that they wouldn’t burn out.

    I’m not making this up.

    And another person I know who passes up opportunities for income because she doesn’t want to pay the income tax. She says she can’t afford to pay the tax.

  22. Proginoskes Feb 22nd 2013 at 03:25 am 22

    @ Kilby: I’m serious here. The hard-working intelligent Polish people of the world have been picked on for too long. I don’t care if the people who do it “have a free pass” or call themselves “God’s Chosen People”. (Actually, that makes it worse.)

  23. Kilby Feb 22nd 2013 at 05:21 am 23

    @ Proginoskes (22) - I still think you are blowing it out of proportion. There are regions and countries in many areas (and languages) that suffer from a traditional linguistic association to become “the butt of the joke”. I’ve seen American jokes about West Virginians that are virtually identical to the German jokes about “East Frisians” (”Ostfriesen“), and I’ve read Russian jokes about the “Tschuktsche” that are orders of magnitude worse than any American “Polish” joke. The “Chelm” jokes are not anti-Polish, I doubt that most people who tell them would even know where the city is located.

  24. Keera Feb 22nd 2013 at 11:09 am 24

    Lord-z @13, you mean Danes tell those same stories about Molbos?

    Pollack jokes, yes, I remember those from the 70’s. The Scandinavian version usually pits the three (true*) Scandinavian countries against each other (Norwegian vs. Dane vs. Swede), and the winner is always your own nationality. If you’re Danish or Norwegian, the dumbest one is always the Swede.

    *) In Scandinavia, Scandinavia means Norway, Denmark and Sweden. The Nordic countries are Scandinavia plus Iceland and Finland. English-speaking people don’t know there’s a difference.

  25. zbicyclist Feb 22nd 2013 at 11:50 am 25

    Oh, it’s not short for “Chelmsford”?

  26. Boise Ed Feb 22nd 2013 at 06:46 pm 26

    Your footnote is interesting, Keera. Thanks for sharing it. I had always thought that Scandinavia meant the Norway-Sweden-Finland peninsula plus, for reasons I had never figured out, Denmark. Now I know better.

    Upon further review (as they say), it’s interesting that “the Danish, Norwegian, and Swedish languages form a dialect continuum and … are considered mutually intelligible with one another.”

  27. Mark in Boston Feb 22nd 2013 at 08:46 pm 27

    Is Chelm like Gotham, home of the Mad Men of Gotham, from the 16th Century book of that name? Those Gothamites were always doing absurd things like trying to drown an eel in a water barrel.

  28. Keera Feb 23rd 2013 at 02:58 am 28

    Boise Ed @26, that’s why we have the distinction: Norway, Sweden and Denmark share geography and history, and cultural and linguistic roots. Iceland’s isolation let its language evolve into something we can’t understand today, and the Finns don’t speak anything Germanic at all. But, these five nations share common interests in the North, and that has led to a bond and cooperation between the Nordic nations that includes allowing residents to travel without a passport between them.

  29. James Pollock Feb 23rd 2013 at 06:52 pm 29

    “English-speaking people don’t know there’s a difference.”
    That’s not entirely true. The Seattle area, for example, has quite a few people who care about the difference between a Norwegian and a Swede (admittedly, probably not quite as much as in your area, but WAY more than you’d expect.)

  30. Keera Feb 24th 2013 at 04:47 am 30

    James @29, I meant between “Scandinavian” and “Nordic”.

  31. Soup Dragon Feb 24th 2013 at 03:40 pm 31

    Keera #24: Stories about the “Molbo” were published before 1814, and naturally spread in both realms, as Norway and Denmark were united back then.

  32. Keera Feb 25th 2013 at 01:01 pm 32

    Thanks, Soup Dragon!

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