Saturday Morning Ewww - January 12

Cidu Bill on Jan 12th 2013

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  • Morris Keesan: Maybe I should just nominate Chris Hallbeck’s strips (Biff, Maximumble, Minimumble) for a permanent Ewww award.Which reminds me of the one about the guy in the public restroom who hears a voice from one of the stalls:”Hey! Is there anyone out there?”"Yes.”"Is there any toilet paper in any of the other stalls?”

    “No, sorry.”

    “Are there any paper towels?”

    “No, there’s just one of those hot air things.”

    (pause)

    “Do you have two fives for a ten?”

Filed in Adam Huber, Bill Bickel, Bug Martini, Maximumble, comic strips, comics, humor | 9 responses so far

9 Responses to “Saturday Morning Ewww - January 12”

  1. Larry Lunts Jan 12th 2013 at 01:49 am 1

    The latter somewhat reminds me of one of the best NSFW dirty jokes ever told (you’ll have to fill in the asterisks):

    Q: How do you make Martha Stewart scream twice?
    A: F*** her in the a**, and then clean your c*** with the curtains.

  2. David Lanznar Jan 12th 2013 at 11:35 am 2

    “Zits” used pretty much the same gag as Maximumble a couple of years ago:

    http://zitscomics.com/comics/april-12-2011/

    And Arlo and Janis had a different (less “Eww”) take on it long ago (1/25/86) but I only have a scanned-in image of the yellowed cut-out strip, and I haven’t been able to find it online. One of my favorites.
    Here goes…
    (frame 1) Gene (young - this was ‘86) sitting on the couch. Voice off calls him (”Gene!”) and he rolls his eyes.
    (frame 2) Gene, scowling, walking.
    (frame 3) Gene, still scowling, walking in the other direction, holding TP roll.
    (frame 4) Gene, back on couch, thinks “College Graduate”

  3. Keera Jan 12th 2013 at 12:51 pm 3

    Yet another reason why I make sure never to run out of t.p. ;-)

  4. The Bad Seed Jan 13th 2013 at 09:16 am 4

    The first one reminds me of a very very long solo early-morning car trip from Knoxville, TN, to Greenville, SC. I was just out of Knoxville (going about 75 mph) when the driver of the car ahead of me “hocked a loogie” out his window, and it landed in the central upper part of my windshield, just at the edge of the wipers’ reach. It was this huge, clear, yellow, viscous blob that made me gag so badly I knew I wouldn’t be able to wipe it off without vomiting my guts up if I stopped the car and got out, and my attempts to displace it while driving - with wipers and fluid - just caused it to form a tail that flapped in the wind as I drove. I ended up managing to block it from my sight with some combo of visors and paper towels, and drove through a car wash as soon as i got off the interstate. It took me years to be able to even think about that trip without gagging, but I figured I’d share here since we were already in an “eeew” frame of mind. ;)

  5. David Jan 13th 2013 at 01:12 pm 5

    Jeff Foxworthy has a bit about what the different meanings of “We’re out of toilet paper”. His wife uses it to mean “Go buy some”, but he takes it as a heads-up that he needs to find a substitute before he goes in, as he has friends who would leave him hanging.

    “Hey, there’s no TP in here!”
    “Yeah, I know, haha.”
    “I’m gonna use your shower curtain!”
    “Hang on, I’ve got some carpet samples around here somewhere.”

  6. Ooten Aboot Jan 13th 2013 at 02:22 pm 6

    I’d have thought any friend of Jeff Foxworthy would have a plastic shower curtain - if they had indoor plumbing at all.

  7. VCR Jan 13th 2013 at 03:32 pm 7

    “Gross Rider”?

  8. Pinny Jan 14th 2013 at 02:10 pm 8

    Remember “Can you spare a square” from Seinfeld?

    The clip at the start of the episode:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gysu0kgFwT0

    The clip at the end of the episode:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL-FDxT1rGA

    The episode’s Wiki page:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stall

  9. Meryl A Jan 15th 2013 at 02:21 am 9

    Timely, Husband is currently upset because I only have 3 spare rolls in the house (and 1 we could flinch from the RV in the driveway) with a new roll in each of the 2 bathrooms, and I insisted we wait all the way until next Sunday to buy a new pack of 7,000 rolls or at least 20, at BJ’s (instead of Costco) as I have a $1 off coupon. He is worried the 2 of us (yes only 2 of us and no company coming) would use up the 5 plus rolls during the week and run out. We could easily go a month, but he is in a panic.

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