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Comics I Don’t Understand » Sunday Funnies - LOL September 30, 2012

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Sunday Funnies - LOL September 30, 2012

on Sep 30th 2012

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shanks.png

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Filed in

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Uncategorized | 59 responses so far

59 Responses to “Sunday Funnies - LOL September 30, 2012”

  1. James Pollock Sep 30th 2012 at 12:20 am 1

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    … “shank you very much?”

  2. mitch4 Sep 30th 2012 at 12:57 am 2

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    I thought the -de- should still be in there, thus maybe “predefenestrated”.

  3. Kilby Sep 30th 2012 at 01:32 am 3

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    Has the word “shank” become a popular meme? This “bug” was the first time I had ever seen any evidence of it, so I didn’t think it was all that funny.

  4. Arthur Sep 30th 2012 at 01:58 am 4

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    I kind of liked the C&H, but, like a lot of other people,
    he’s confused global warming and ozone depletion.

    I had already marked the SMBC to show to someone else because I liked.

    Kilby: I don’t think “shank” is a meme, but it’s common slang for
    a shiv or for using a shiv.

  5. furrykef Sep 30th 2012 at 03:58 am 5

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    mitch4 — I was thinking the same thing. Maybe that’s why it took the character ten minutes to figure out. ;)

  6. Proginoskes Sep 30th 2012 at 04:30 am 6

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    Re the Doonesbury cartoon: Actually:

    “Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.

    “Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.” (Genesis 7:2-3, KJV)

    I wonder whether that teacher has even *read* the Bible …

  7. Kilby Sep 30th 2012 at 07:30 am 7

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    @ Proginoskes (6) - Trudeau isn’t writing for biblical scholars, he’s writing for the general public. Virtually every mass market depiction of the ark’s passengers (in comics, film, or whatever else) uses two of each type of animal. Talking about groups of seven would confuse the majority of readers.

  8. Ooten Aboot Sep 30th 2012 at 07:39 am 8

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    @ Proginoskes (6) - The clear message is that clean beast males take six mates, unclean only one, thus justifying polygamy as “God’s Law”.

  9. amo Sep 30th 2012 at 08:27 am 9

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    @Ooten Aboot : ) or… it’s because those were the animals they could eat and God thought planning a few extra would be a good idea.

  10. John in Tronna Sep 30th 2012 at 08:31 am 10

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    Notes on the KJV state the original Hebrew has “seven and seven” meaning seven pairs, which is why that translation has the plural “sevens” vs the singular “two”. All the more current translations state “seven pairs” for kosher beasts and “one pair” for Porky and his ilk.

  11. mitch4 Sep 30th 2012 at 08:40 am 11

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    John #10 - You mean Ilks are unclean?!

  12. Carl Sep 30th 2012 at 09:38 am 12

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    Genesis is self-contradictory here (as in the story of creation back in chapter 1). Genesis 6 says one pair of each kind, Genesis 7 says 7 pairs of clean animals. (Best guess about why: so Noah’s family could sacrifice animals to the Lord without making entire species extinct.)

    Genesis 6: “Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.”

    Scholars mostly agree that the book combines two Hebrew sources into one not-totally-consistent narrative.

  13. Lola Sep 30th 2012 at 09:46 am 13

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    #2-Mitch4 - I agree or maybe “failing English major” instead. Still very funny.

  14. Woodrowfan Sep 30th 2012 at 10:44 am 14

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    maybe it was 2 of each that didn’t taste good, and seven of the yummy ones??

  15. Carl Sep 30th 2012 at 11:39 am 15

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    @Woodrowfan … seven locusts, two pigs. Which do you think is yummier?

  16. David A. Rooney Sep 30th 2012 at 12:18 pm 16

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    Carl - if you’re not allowed to eat the pig, that leaves ‘yummmy’ locusts by default.

  17. David A. Rooney Sep 30th 2012 at 12:32 pm 17

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    I also like how Trudeau says “God created genocide”. People tend to forget that the Old Testament God was as blood-thirsty, petty and vindictive as any other deity in history.

    I did like the C&H.

    mitch4@11 - of course Ilks are unclean. As John #10 said, they belong to the Porky. Though it does seem strange to me that God would created something ‘unclean’ in the first place - if he didn’t want it eaten, why did he make it so delicious?

  18. farmer Sep 30th 2012 at 01:49 pm 18

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    Loved the Doonesbury, as it was pretty much my wife’s experience with high school biology. Except the emphasis was the other way around: here’s a lengthy explanation of Biblical Creation truth, followed by a half-azzed summary of evolution thrown in to meet state “standards”.

  19. fj Sep 30th 2012 at 08:00 pm 19

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    re: predefenestrate vs prefenestrate

    If something is “fenestrated,” it contains windows or openings. “Fenestrate” is not generally considered a valid English verb (however, it is an adjective that means the same thing as “fenestrate”), but if we allow the obvious back formation, we can interpret the verb “fenestrate” as meaning “to create windows or holes in.” So to me, “prefenestrate” should not mean “to prepare to throw someone out the window” but rather the much more ominous “to prepare to riddle riddle and object or being full of holes.”

    Not that I think that’s what the cartoonist had in mind…

  20. mitch4 Sep 30th 2012 at 08:40 pm 20

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    In architecture, they certainly speak of the fenestration of a building, meaning the design or pattern of the windows. I’m not sure if they also use “fenestrate” as a transitive verb, but if it did occur in that context I suppose it would mean “prepare the fenestration of [a building]” or, removing the repeated keyword, “design the style and placement of windows of [a building]” — pretty much like your proposed reading @19 but perhaps just enough off to keep it from working.

    BTW, even though “the defenestrations of Prague” seems to be the context most people first encounter that prefixed form in, I know that I first ran into it in the title of “The Defenestration of Ermintrude Inch” — a short story by Arthur C. Clarke appearing in his humorous collection “Tales from the White Hart”. Now there’s some great light-hearted classic SF writing for ya!

  21. Mark in Boston Sep 30th 2012 at 10:03 pm 21

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    “Consider yourself prefenestrated” — is that an innuwindow?

  22. mitch4 Sep 30th 2012 at 10:08 pm 22

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    He opened the window, and in flew Enza.

  23. Proginoskes Oct 1st 2012 at 02:38 am 23

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    David A. Rooney (17) wrote “People tend to forget that the Old Testament God was as blood-thirsty, petty and vindictive as any other deity in history.”

    Yeah. Those people call themselves Christians and don’t read the Bible.

    The mathematician Paul Erdos called God “The Supreme Fascist.”

  24. Ian Osmond Oct 1st 2012 at 07:41 am 24

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    As Carl said: the first couple stories in Genesis are done twice in mutually contradictory terms. There is no way to reconcile Genesis 2 with Genesis 1, for instance — Garden of Eden with Seven Days of Creation. The Adam and Eve story happens when “5 Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, 6 but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. 7 Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Which means that the Sixth day happened before the Second Day and Third Day.

    From a textual analysis point of view, this is because Genesis is a conflation of a number of pre-existing stories from different sources. From a religious point of view, this is because God is telling us that this entire book is NOT literal, and only a complete moron would try to claim it is.

  25. GP Oct 1st 2012 at 08:39 am 25

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    I just read through Genesis 1 and 2 in a few different translations. It looks like most translations have “of the field” in chapter 2 verse 5, referring to the shrubs/plants. It would seem that this implies crops rather than plants in general. Also, depending on the translation it seems like this part might specifically refer to the garden of Eden, that no plants were growing in the garden yet. One translation (I should have kept track of which one I was reading) kind of made it look like these verses were a simplified re-telling of part of chapter 1, with focus on the plants - there were no plants and no rain, then streams of water came up, then God made a man to take care of them. They’re obviously vastly different readings, but if someone wants to believe it there are several plausible explanations for the apparent contradiction.

  26. MollyJ Oct 1st 2012 at 09:28 am 26

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    I’m with fj @#19 - I read the comic that way from the beginning, as “Prepared to have windows cut into you!”

    As a nurse, I mostly come across the term “fenestrated” in describing sterile towels used when suturing a patient. These towels provide a sterile field with a “fenestration” — an open area — in the middle. The towels are placed with the wound in the fenestrated area to allow for suturing. So maybe that’s where my interpretation comes from?

    Also, long before I became a nurse, I earned a degree in English. So there’s that, too.

  27. Judge Mental Oct 1st 2012 at 12:00 pm 27

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    I am not sure I follow the logic that “shank” must to be a popular meme for it to come up in the comic. I think it is just sort a riff on action movie catchphrases when they off someone (e.g. “Hasta la vista, baby” from Terminator 2 or “dodge this” from the The Matrix ). Shank is simply the choice because a) it lends itself to lame phrases and b) it is the most common way to kill someone in prison, where puns probably do not go over well.

  28. NitricAcid Oct 1st 2012 at 12:22 pm 28

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    When we had our first kid, some of our more religious relatives gave us religious kid’s things- a book about Joshua and the Whale, and a blanket with a Noah’s Ark scene on it. I’m not going to tuck my kid into bed with a picture of the painful death of almost everyone on the planet, thanks. The funny thing was- you could see the pairs of animals sitting happily on the ark…two lions with manes (thus, male lions), and two ewes….

  29. fj Oct 1st 2012 at 02:59 pm 29

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    @NitricAcid
    While I would agree Noah’s ark isn’t the greatest story to share with a little kid, I’m pretty amazed you were able to determine the gender of those sheep. That’s one very anatomically correct Noah’s ark! (It is entirely reasonable that Noah’s sheep were hornless, as the P (polled, or hornless) gene is dominant.)

    As far as “Joshua and the Whale” is concerned, I’m sure you meant Jonah, but I did kind of enjoy the mental image of God dropping a whale on the walls of Jericho.

  30. James Pollock Oct 1st 2012 at 04:15 pm 30

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    But, Jonah didn’t interact with a whale, he interacted with a “great fish”. So, picture “Jaws” only without the music.

  31. fj Oct 1st 2012 at 04:57 pm 31

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    While it is true that the Hebrew “dag gadol” may be literally translated “great fish,” it is not at all clear to me that ancient Hebrew of the era in question had a better term for a whale than “dag gadol.”

    In Matthew 12:40, Jonah is stated to have spent time in the belly of a “ketos.” Certainly a “ketos” could be a whale. However, by 1st century standards, I don’t think you could argue that it could not be applied to a great fish.

  32. mitch4 Oct 1st 2012 at 06:27 pm 32

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    MollyJ, thank you for explaining about fenestration in surgical drapes! It’s interesting in itself, plus helps me see fj’s account.

  33. NitricAcid Oct 1st 2012 at 08:15 pm 33

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    I stand corrected. I had gone with the lack of horns. But at least the lions were both clearly male, so maybe it was indeed the lions laying down with the lambs…

  34. David A. Rooney Oct 1st 2012 at 09:27 pm 34

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    NitricAcid@32 - . . . and getting up using wool for flossing.

  35. fj Oct 1st 2012 at 10:14 pm 35

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    Re #19
    “to prepare to riddle riddle and object or being full of holes” should have read “to prepare to create windows in an object or to prepare to riddle it with of holes.”

  36. fj Oct 1st 2012 at 10:31 pm 36

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    Ugh! scratch that last “of”

  37. Mark in Boston Oct 1st 2012 at 10:54 pm 37

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    Two male lions. Well, I guess both Noah and God are OK with gay marriage.

    BTW, if you want to annoy a Biblical scholar, ask “How many of each kind of creature did Moses have on the ark?”

  38. Mark in Boston Oct 1st 2012 at 10:58 pm 38

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    And if anyone asks YOU “How many of each kind of creature did Moses have on the ark?” answer “Two.”

    When your questioner says “Ha ha ha! Noah had the ark. Moses didn’t have an ark!”, just say “Ha ha ha yourself! Moses DID TOO have an ark. It was The Ark of the Covenant, and the Bible says it was decorated with two Cherubim, which are creatures of God. I can see YOU don’t read the bible!”

  39. Proginoskes Oct 2nd 2012 at 03:03 am 39

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    @ James Pollock: And it wasn’t an apple, only a fruit.

    And “rapture” appears nowhere in the Bible.

  40. Kilby Oct 2nd 2012 at 09:02 am 40

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    @ Judge Mental (27) - No, it does not need to be a meme, but I think a word ought to be reasonably well known in the intended meaning before it qualifies as the foundation for puns (atrocious or otherwise). Despite Arthur’s report (@3), I have never heard of the word “shank” applied to any kind of knife, and none of the “real” dictionaries I have here on my bookshelf lists that meaning, either. As a verb, I’d say that “shank” is something a golfer does, not a mobster.

  41. MikeK Oct 2nd 2012 at 12:41 pm 41

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    Kilby - ’shank’ is prison slang from the days of yesteryear, so it probably wouldn’t show up in standard dictionaries.

  42. James Pollock Oct 2nd 2012 at 07:34 pm 42

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    “it is not at all clear to me that ancient Hebrew of the era in question had a better term for a whale than “dag gadol.” ”

    The Hebrews might not know the difference, but surely God does?

  43. fj Oct 2nd 2012 at 08:31 pm 43

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    re: “The Hebrews might not know the difference, but surely God does?”

    Of course. But God wasn’t the audience for the story of Jonah. I’m not arguing that it WAS a whale. I’m just saying that if a whale swallowed Jonah, it would be perfectly reasonable to use the term “giant fish” in trying to convey that part of the story to group of nomadic shepherds who had no concept of whales or other marine mammals.

  44. Mark in Boston Oct 2nd 2012 at 09:01 pm 44

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    Old Jonah he lived in a whale.
    Old Jonah he lived in a whale.
    Oh he made his home in
    That fish’s abdomen
    Old Jonah he lived in a whale.

    (Yes, I was at the Boston Symphony last week.)

  45. James Pollock Oct 2nd 2012 at 11:48 pm 45

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    fj, once you open up the “God might not have told the exact literal truth to the nomadic desert people He made his Chosen people” box, you blow the fundamentalists out of the water, because they reason that since the Bible comes from God, it MUST therefore be 100% factual. They’re not going to be happy…
    Hopefully they won’t riot and storm the embassy…

  46. Carl Oct 3rd 2012 at 12:56 am 46

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    From the perspective of a science wonk, the criticism of the ancients for calling whales “fish” is just incorrect. The taxonomy of the time did in fact classify whales as “fishes”. It doesn’t become wrong just because it isn’t the most useful scientific division possible. When the Bible calls bats “birds” it’s not incorrect–it just doesn’t mean by birds “Members of the class Aves.” It means “things that fly which are not bugs.” Again, that is not wrong–it just isn’t modern.

  47. Meryl A Oct 3rd 2012 at 01:42 am 47

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    Synchronicity -

    Pearls before swine on 9/24/12 has a joke on defenestration and pig being thrown out the window to teach him the word, by rat.

  48. Proginoskes Oct 3rd 2012 at 03:20 am 48

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    James Pollock (45) wrote: “[Fundamentalists] reason that since the Bible comes from God, it MUST therefore be 100% factual.”

    It can’t be, as of us here know.

    Adding another nail to the coffin: Jesus says that his Second Coming will be “as a thief in the night”, meaning completely unexpected. Then the Book of Revelation outlines the exact plan for Jesus’s Second Coming; it’s seven years after all the nations of the world sign a peace treaty.

    Someone dropped the ball on consistency here.

  49. James Pollock Oct 3rd 2012 at 11:21 am 49

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    “Someone dropped the ball on consistency here.”

    God works in inconsistent (and mysterious) ways.

  50. fj Oct 3rd 2012 at 03:53 pm 50

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    Re: #45
    I didn’t realize I was opening any box. If your language has no specific word for “whale” and your word for “fish” also gets applied generically to mean “swimming critter” (as in Genesis 1:26 and 1:28), then “big swimming critter” is a perfectly literal description of a whale. Besides the whole fish/whale thing goes back to before Jesus: the Septuagint (the 3rd century BCE Greek version of the Hebrew Bible) uses “ketos” instead of “ichthys” for the big swimming critter. It’s not an issue for the vast majority of fundamentalists. Even the “Answers in Genesis” folks say either a whale or shark is reasonable, and they are hard-core young earth creationists.

    re: #48
    Proginoskes’ nail is a tad bent. He/she appears to be conflating the beginning of the millennial reign of Christ with the initiation of the second coming. From a dispensational premillennial eschatological viewpoint (the questionable doctrine behind the “Left Behind” series), the entire process (rapture-> tribulation-> triumph-> millennial reign) would be considered the second coming. There would be no contradiction. Furthermore, both bible references were flawed (The “thief” quote is from Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5, and the 7-year duration and the covenant of the antichrist come more from Daniel than Revelation). And it’s not like the whole process is clearly laid out (if it were, there wouldn’t be whole sets of vastly divergent eschatological schools of thought). Besides, not all fundamentalists are dispensationalists.

  51. NitricAcid Oct 3rd 2012 at 04:38 pm 51

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    Yes- fish, whale….no difference to the Hebrews who were telling the tales. Anyone whose language contains the words “starfish”, “jellyfish”, and “shellfish” does not get to chastise the Hebrews for scientific imprecision.

  52. James Pollock Oct 3rd 2012 at 06:30 pm 52

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    NitricAcid, if English was good enough for Jesus, then it’s good enough for me.

  53. fj Oct 3rd 2012 at 07:36 pm 53

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    I smiled @NitricAcid (#51).
    I literally and heartily laughed out lound @James Pollock (#52).

  54. Mark in Boston Oct 3rd 2012 at 10:28 pm 54

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    It wasn’t a whale or any normal species of fish. “God prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah.” It was a one-off fish God created that had the ability to swallow people whole and keep them alive inside.

  55. Proginoskes Oct 4th 2012 at 02:43 am 55

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    @ James Pollock (49): “God works in inconsistent (and mysterious) ways.”

    You do realize that “God works in mysterious ways” is just another way of saying “I have no freakin’ idea”, don’t you?

    @ fj (51): That’s not what the local terrorist, sorry, minister, says.

  56. Molly J Oct 4th 2012 at 09:22 am 56

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    @Mark #54. What a miserable experience and purposeless existence for the poor great fish who ate and was not filled with food. Wonder what became of him after he spat Jonah back onto dry land?

  57. Tim Oct 4th 2012 at 02:10 pm 57

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    I have yet to hear any contradictions in the Bible. Genesis 1 describes what happened in the first seven days; Genesis 2 gives a little more information about day 6. No contradictions, just additional information. Everything in it is internally consistent, and in harmony with history and science (just not the interpretations of some scientists).

  58. Proginoskes Oct 5th 2012 at 03:15 am 58

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    Tim (57) wrote: “I have yet to hear any contradictions in the Bible.”

    Then get your fingers out of your ears.

  59. James Pollock Oct 6th 2012 at 12:17 am 59

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    There may or may not be contradictions in the Bible (I read none of the languages it was written in, so I can’t say for sure myself). There are CERTAINLY contradictions in the interpretations of the Bible adopted by various groups and individuals.
    FACT: If you try hard enough, you can probably find a Scriptural text to support any position. (Admittedly, you might have to remove it from context.)

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