Comments on: It Isn’t Easy Peeing Green

By: Mark in Boston

Mark in Boston — Sat, 08 May 2010 23:27:36 +0000

How To Catch Elephants

Dig a big hole in the ground. Fill it with ashes and line the rim with peas.

When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

By: Elyrest

Elyrest — Fri, 07 May 2010 14:47:27 +0000

mkilby (21) After reading that now I have to pea!

By: padraig

padraig — Fri, 07 May 2010 14:23:28 +0000

OK, OK, quit clamoring.

Q: What’s the difference between the tango and pea green paint?
A: Anyone can learn to tango.

By: mkilby

mkilby — Fri, 07 May 2010 13:44:56 +0000

I didn’t like the version I found, so I composed a new one. I hope this doesn’t land in the moderation queue:

To pee or not to pee: that is the question;
Whether ’tis warmer in the pants to suffer 
The stinks and yellows of outrageous urine, 
Or to take aim against a sea of troubles 
And, by releasing, end them. To pee, to piss 
No more – and by a piss to say we end 
The gut-ache and the thousand natural squirts 
That flesh is heir to: ‘tis a constipation 
Devoutly to be wished. To piss, to $#!+ 
To $#!+, perchance to wipe. Ay, there’s the rub, 
For in that piss of death what dreams may come, 
When we have unraveled this paper roll, 
Must give us pause. There’s the aspect 
That makes absurdity of such long streams.

By: mitch4

mitch4 — Fri, 07 May 2010 12:26:49 +0000

Okay, let’s go to an earlier scene in Hamlet: “For this relief much thanks!” (Credit Stephen Dedalus for applying that to urination.)

By: mkilby

mkilby — Fri, 07 May 2010 03:58:02 +0000

Unfortunately, the opening line to Hamlet’s Bathroom Soliloquy has already been massively overused (Google produces over 231000 hits for “To pee or not to pee …”)

By: The Bad Seed

The Bad Seed — Fri, 07 May 2010 02:20:45 +0000

I assumed he was peeing by the light of an LED from an indiglow watch or night-light of some sort, or maybe an iPhone - but why would you choose green for your iPhone flashlight? But in any case, he now associates his pee with fluorescent green, because he apparently never pees in daylight anymore… or just doesn’t pay as much attention when he does.

By: Mark in Boston

Mark in Boston — Fri, 07 May 2010 00:35:22 +0000

Here’s one we thought was hilarious back in third grade (try it on a third-grader).

You have to say “pea green soup” after every question I ask.

What did you have for breakfast?

What did you have for lunch?

What did you have for dinner?

What did you do all night?

By: Mary in Ohio

Mary in Ohio — Thu, 06 May 2010 21:40:18 +0000

At school we always referred to that color as “Monkey Vomit Green.” But there is an old joke:
Q:What’s the difference between the chacha and pea green paint?
A: Anybody can learn to chacha.

By: Kamino Neko

Kamino Neko — Thu, 06 May 2010 19:53:17 +0000

Seriously - while it’s vaguely possible the buyer does have radioactive piss, it’s far, far more likely Ethan’s just imagining that in response to someone using a completely inappropriate pejorative to describe the colour. See again the ‘neon’ article I linked earlier, or the AllSpark thread Dave referenced.