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Comics I Don’t Understand » 2010 » April

Archive for April, 2010

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Arlo Arlo?

on Apr 30th 2010

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I stopped keeping track of everybody who sent me this one: this was a CIDU for two people, while everybody else assumed Arlo was excited about getting a good seat to watch Janis sunbathe. Presumably the sheet is there to hide her from the gaze of the guy next door (though that ship’s already sailed at least a couple of times).

Arlo: Did somebody say sail??

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Lesser-Known Pat Robertson Quotes

on Apr 30th 2010

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Collected by Francesco Marciuliano

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Devil’s in the Details

on Apr 30th 2010

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What I was planning to write here was: “Damn. I just read more than 250 pages of Michael Lewis’s The Big Short, and I could have gotten the same information in less than a minute by reading today’s Abstruse Goose.” Then I realized that the strip’s unnamed artist was way ahead of me: the graphic file was named “the_big_short.”

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C1DU

on Apr 30th 2010

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Something to do with the Church scandal, I guess, but beyond that I got nuttin’ — other than no small degree of amazement that this was allowed to make it onto the comics page.

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Facebook

on Apr 29th 2010

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About once a week, I get a “friend request” sent to my CIDU Facebook account. This account actually existed for about 15 minutes before I abandoned it, and I don’t even know the log-in password anymore. I’m not ignoring anybody — I simply can’t get into the account to confirm any requests, and there’s no account to confirm to anyway. I can’t even contact most of the people, because their Facebook names aren’t the same as the nicknames they use on CIDU, so I don’t know who exactly they are.

I do have a Facebook account under my own name.

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Synchoo!

on Apr 29th 2010

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Timothy Carignan:

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Second Banana

on Apr 29th 2010

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Janice Rey: You know, I sort of understood it even before I looked up “second banana,” but is that really a commonly known phrase? Or is it a geezer thing?

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Is “second banana” a phrase only a geezer would know these days? I hadn’t thought so.

And for what it’s worth, I think what Janis really means is “straight man.” -Bill

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I’m Lost

on Apr 29th 2010

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Her Mother’s Daughter

on Apr 28th 2010

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Maybe I’m missing something, but isn’t “old enough to be Juliet’s daughter” the same thing as “old enough to be Edda’s twin”?

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Re-Fi

on Apr 28th 2010

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Morris Keesan: If I could figure out what the guy with the shovel is doing, it might make some sense, or it might not. It looks like he’s holding a dog over a wheelbarrow, but if it’s a dog, who or what is at the other end of the leash? Without the dialogue, it might be a weird and feeble small joke about someone trying to avoid having to pick up dogshit with a plastic bag. And why are the couple on the left holding suitcases?

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First, Tell No Lies

on Apr 27th 2010

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Largely ignored by the media was a law recently passed by the Oklahoma legislature that stated that doctors can’t be held accountable — criminally or civilly — for lying to pregnant women about the health of their babies if they’re concerned that the truth might encourage the woman to seek an abortion.

Let’s repeat that: the doctor can lie to his patient if he believes that telling her the truth might lead her to do something to which, though legal, he is morally opposed.

This shouldn’t be even close to a pro-choice/pro-life issue: any reasonable person on either side of the question should see this as reprehensible.

And once we have this precedent, why stop there? Shouldn’t it be equally permissible to lie to a gay patient and tell him he has AIDS, if the doctor believes that homosexuality is a sin and the false diagnosis might cause the patient to commit fewer sins against God and nature?

And come on, nobody can see the downside of telling an obese patient he has type II diabetes. If that gets him eating healthier, why shouldn’t that be the doctor’s call?

And let’s take the concept to its logical conclusion: If a patient has a cancer that could be easily brought under control if treated immediately, but will be fatal if left alone, and in the doctor’s opinion he’s a bad man and deserves to die, then the doctor should have the right to tell him he’s fine and send him home.

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Anti-Semitic Joke??

on Apr 27th 2010

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Yesterday, National Security Adviser James Jones apologized for a joke he told last week during his keynote address to the Washington Institute for Near East Policy, a pro-Israel organization.

A member of the Taliban was separated from his fighting party and wandered around for a few days in the desert, lost, out of food, no water. He looked on the horizon and he saw what looked like a little shack, and he walked toward that shack and as he got to it, turned out that it was a shack, a store, a little store owned by a Jewish merchant. And the Taliban warrior went up to him and said, ‘I need water, get me some water.’ And the merchant said, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t have any water, but would you like to buy a tie? We have a nice sale of ties today.’

Whereupon the Taliban erupted into a stream of language that I can’t repeat about Israel, about Jewish people, about the man himself, about his family – and just saying ‘I need water, you try to sell me ties, you people don’t get it.’

And passively, the merchant stood there until this Taliban was through with his diatribe and said, ‘Well, I’m sorry but I don’t have water for you and I forgive you for all of the insults you’ve levied against me, my family, my country, but I will help you out. If you go over that hill and walk about two miles there’s a restaurant there, and they have all the water you’ll need.’

And the Taliban, instead of saying thanks, still muttering under his breath, disappears over the hill – only to come back about an hour later and walking up to the merchant and says, ‘Your brother tells me I need a tie in order to get into the restaurant.’

Offense was taken (Jones is not “of the Tribe”).

Putting aside the pointlessness of the anecdote and the fact that the joke itself probably predates the Bible, was this really an anti-Semitic joke?

(And let’s save time and get the inevitable and irrelevant “Arabs are Semites too” comment out of the way right here)

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Stuffing

on Apr 27th 2010

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Pizza Hours

on Apr 26th 2010

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S. P. Charles: “Closed for lunch but open until 4am? In suburban Ohio? I already assumed that Batiuk knows even less about running a pizzeria than Funky does… but surely Batiuk knows something about suburban Ohio.”

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Guns N’ Reese’s

on Apr 26th 2010

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Granted New Jersey has always been at the forefront of zero tolerance overreaction, but this just seems way too specific.

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Walkathon: You Guys are the Best!

on Apr 25th 2010

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Yesterday afternoon, I mentioned that I’d love to raise an additional $21 for this morning’s March of Dimes Walkathon. Within minutes, a $21 donation came in. Followed over the next few hours by three more $21 donations. And a $50 donation and a couple others for an afternoon and evening total of $154. Which brought the grand total to $504.

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A great day for a walkathon. If you’re a duck. A duck from the Arctic.

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Sunday Funnies: LOL-April 25

on Apr 25th 2010

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Continue Reading »

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Photo Finish

on Apr 24th 2010

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This probably made a lot more sense back when, you know, people actually carried photos in their wallets. I mean seriously, I’m a Luddite, but the only photos I carry around are in my phone. My wife is even Luddier-than-thou and doesn’t use cell phones, but she doesn’t have any photos in her wallet than are less than a decade old because nobody distributes them anymore.

So as the Vikings in the credit card commercial say, What’s in your wallet?

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Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch…

on Apr 24th 2010

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Nothing for the Ewww Files this week — but I have a feeling once this one’s explained, it will more than qualify

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Rahm, Spaceknight?

on Apr 23rd 2010

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Okay, since when is Rahm Emanuel “massive”? And why would Obama want to send him into space?

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Tee CIDU

on Apr 22nd 2010

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Side Effects

on Apr 21st 2010

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I don’t know about anybody else…

on Apr 20th 2010

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but for the past year and a half, I haven’t received a single “save the day” card (or more commonly, “save the date” card) without thinking of this:

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Bus Service

on Apr 20th 2010

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Frosted Donut: This one escapes me completely. “Toothpaste for Dinner” is always weird, but usually understandable. Is “full service to the near-west side on a bus” some kind of slang for an obscene activity?

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Just a Thought…

on Apr 19th 2010

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I’d have a lot more respect for space shuttles as a significant step toward serious space travel if they didn’t have to cancel take-offs and landings every time there’s a chance of a little rain.

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