LOL-January 18
Cidu Bill on Jan 18th 2010
Bill: And of course if Adam had had insomnia, he could have helped himself by…
Heather D: Something about the way the ‘pumped up’ snowman is smiling takes this into true LOL territory for me.
Jon Delfin:
Filed in Adam at Home, Argyle Sweater, Bill Bickel, Bizarro, Brian Basset, Dan Piraro, Dave Coverly, Meryl Streep, MythTickle, New Yorker, Rina Piccolo, Scott Hilburn, Speed Bump, Tina's Groove, astronauts, comic strips, comics, comics that made us laugh out loud, humor, lol | 53 responses so far
Sili Jan 18th 2010 at 01:02 am 1
I don’t know the third strip, but that waitress always looks so damn sad.
Harpa Jan 18th 2010 at 01:51 am 2
Can someone explain the joke about dialing 1-800-POLISH-Q please? (I’m not in the US so trying it myself isn’t really feasible)
Usual John Jan 18th 2010 at 02:17 am 3
Harpa - US telephones have letters on the keys, three each for the numbers 2 through 9. The letters Q and Z are not included. Mobile phones do include these letters, so the joke is not as topical as it used to be.
Can someone explain Bill’s comment about insomnia?
mkilby Jan 18th 2010 at 02:24 am 4
This sounds silly, but I actually fell for that joke once (long ago). American toll-free numbers always start with 1-800…, so there’s no risk in dialing them (within the USA, of course). However, the victim who actually starts dialing that number will get all the way to the end before they realize that there is (or was) no “Q” on the phone’s dial. Modern cell phones add the Q to 7 (and Z to 9), but the old standard phone layout offered only 24 letters.
As I recall it, the joke originally used a less polite spelling: the “Q” wasn’t so obviously “odd” when it followed the “ck” in the derogatory term “Polack”.
mkilby Jan 18th 2010 at 02:26 am 5
Nuts, I should have typed that faster. But I agree with Usual John on the insomnia question. I don’t get that one, either.
S.P. Charles Jan 18th 2010 at 02:37 am 6
An equally bad joke: He could have counted Streep.
furrykef Jan 18th 2010 at 05:09 am 7
I wouldn’t say equally. Yours is even worse.
BTW, I knew the “word problem” was going to start with the words “If a train…” before I even started to read it…
MrKenneth Jan 18th 2010 at 05:41 am 8
Bill - perhaps those who did not understand your insomnia should review your earlier Arlo/Adam posting.
Mitch4 Jan 18th 2010 at 06:05 am 9
Cousins - What’s that going on with her hands?
Polish - Thx, John. I indeed tried it on my mobile and forgot the Q would not have been there on a standard desk phone. I got a busy signal and thought that might somehow be meant as the joke.
Mythtickle - Stop being so oversensitive about your weight and girth … because a waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Word problem - “Apollo 13″ involved in-the-head and back-of-the-envelope calculations, but for their air supply.
Gullibility - Here’s a facetious question: Can you give an English word whose vowels are exactly the five standard vowels in alphabetical order (though not consecutive)?
Insomnia - Can’t get to sleep? Try a little sexual relief …
Father Bruno Di Frocco Jan 18th 2010 at 06:16 am 10
Sili: That strip you didn’t recognize is “Tina’s Groove,” a pleasant little affair done up by Rina Piccolo — she of “Six Chix” fame. Tina is perpetually gobsmacked by the activities of those around her.
padraig Jan 18th 2010 at 09:44 am 11
Dang I am old.
Submitted that POLISH-Q thing without looking at my new phone dial, I mean touchpad. Even my desk phone has a Q on the 7. Leave it to you bunch of caterwauling hooligans to make me feel ancient.
Daniel J. Drazen Jan 18th 2010 at 10:05 am 12
padraig,
While we’re on the dial/touchpad subject:
Telephones no longer “ring” since they’ve stopped using real bells, so what do we call the signal when you get an incoming call? “Ma, the phone’s beeping!” just doesn’t make it.
And since the demise of the rotary dial, “dialing” a phone is an anachronism as well. Do we “touch” numbers now or what?
The English language has yet to keep up with technology in that department.
Heather D Jan 18th 2010 at 10:27 am 13
Nah, we’re just re-defining the words, they’re evolving. A ton of english words don’t have their “original” meaning anymore, but they’re still perfectly valid and don’t need to be updated. 100 years from now, folks will be saying that “the term ‘ringing’, meaning the subconscious alert jolt that our implants give us when we have an incoming message, comes from the ancient technologies of ‘telephones’, where incoming calls were announced with the ringing of bells.”
There are lots of similar words, where we use them without even thinking about how the meaning doesn’t really match the word anymore… but of course I can’t think of one off the top of my head…
Jeff S. Jan 18th 2010 at 10:46 am 14
Mitch4 #9 — Cousins… She’s being a stereotypical young country girl… arms behind her back and lifting her chest. Think Elly May Clampett. She’s just as smart too.
Gullibility… I’m not sure why you think that’s a facetious question. I’m SURE there’s an equally facetious answer out there somewhere.
Catelli Jan 18th 2010 at 10:50 am 15
Thanks for mentioning that Q’s used to be missing from the dial-pad. I had forgotten that.
When I translated the number (using 7 for Q), it’s a current or old number for IBM Support 1-800-765-4747
Which confused me even more….
Fred Jan 18th 2010 at 10:54 am 16
I’m just happy that a New Yorker cartoon made it onto the LOL page. Even though they are often very funny (not always, I’ll admit), they do take a pretty severe bashing on this site.
I love the one with three witches sitting around a table at a restaurant holding menus, and one of the witches says, ‘I’m thinking of having a child.’
mitch4 Jan 18th 2010 at 10:59 am 17
@Jeff S. — Maybe I called it a facetious question because I had been drinking and was a bit confused. But now I’ve sobered up, and see it’s an abstemious question.
Tom Jan 18th 2010 at 11:02 am 18
Gullibility - Here’s a facetious question: Can you give an English word whose vowels are exactly the five standard vowels in alphabetical order (though not consecutive)?
Unquestionably.
Mark M Jan 18th 2010 at 11:10 am 19
Heather D, that’s true not only for words but for some actions as well. In an Ellen Degeneres special from a few years back, she talked about how we still “roll” down the window in our cars. And when we pull up next to someone we want to talk to, we still use the universal symbol for rolling down the window by moving our hands in a circular motion. Giving a button-pushing motion would probably be met with confusion.
My parents - God bless ‘em - still have a rotary phone. My kids were absolutely mesmerized the first time they saw it.
Ray Brady Jan 18th 2010 at 11:50 am 20
The terms “hang up” and “off the hook” no longer make much sense from a literal standpoint, either.
My cell phone has onscreen graphics for some functions that show a little cartoon of a rotary style phone with the handset resting across the top. I have to wonder how many kids today have never seen an actual phone that looks like that.
James Schend Jan 18th 2010 at 01:02 pm 21
I have a “we don’t care, we don’t have to: we’re the phone company”-era phone in my kitchen. I love it, the ringer is awesome and since there’s no power adaptors or batteries involved, it always works. And it weighs like 50 pounds.
To paraphrase Dave Barry, those phones were frequently used as murder weapons in movies– try that with a phone today!
Elyrest Jan 18th 2010 at 01:29 pm 22
“those phones were frequently used as murder weapons in movies– try that with a phone today”
You could try shoving it down someone’s throat - that might work. I have thought of that before, but I am not murderously inclined
David A. Rooney Jan 18th 2010 at 03:37 pm 23
Elyrest - I think I saw that on an episode of CSI or something. Though I’m not the murderous type either, I have been tempted to shove it from the other end (especially at the movies) . . .
TOM - “Unquestionably” doesn’t have the letters in alphabetical, or even reverse-alphabetical, order; though it does have all of them at least once.
Ambidexterously comes close, but the i is before the e. Anyone else care to try?
Usual John Jan 18th 2010 at 03:44 pm 24
David A. Rooney - Mitch4 was being cute. The words are abstemious and facetious, both used in his posts.
Keera Jan 18th 2010 at 03:46 pm 25
Re killing someone with a cell phone: Aren’t we all going to get brain cancer because of those things?
Detcord Jan 18th 2010 at 03:48 pm 26
Mitch4 at no. 9. Given your facetious question, I choose to remain abstemious.
Detcord Jan 18th 2010 at 03:54 pm 27
… mainly because I don’t type fast enough. Good one Unusual John.
Pinny Jan 18th 2010 at 05:46 pm 28
What unusual 7-letter English word contains 3 “u”’s?
@Mitch4 #9: She’s wringing them because she’s nervous. After all, she’s breaking up with her cousin.
Kate C Jan 18th 2010 at 07:07 pm 29
Re: the Q on the phone pad
I volunteer at an after-school program, and one of the boys I tutor really likes logic/mystery stories and puzzles (think Slylock Fox) and got some Encylopedia Brown out of the library for us to read together. And, boy–those books have not aged well! Almost every single mystery involves a piece of technology/weird stereotype that isn’t around anymore. For example, there was one mystery that involved a person being blackmailed or something, and he is given a phone to call that is like “555-TAKZ.” And Encylopedia figures out that the guy is obviously faknig the blackmail because the “Z” makes it a unreal number. But a kid born in 2001 doesn’t know this. Another mystery that involved reel-to-reel projectors was so outdated, even I wasn’t familiar with the technology (something about it should have been played upside down); I don’t really remember.
John Small Berries Jan 18th 2010 at 09:34 pm 30
In an Ellen Degeneres special from a few years back, she talked about how we still “roll” down the window in our cars. And when we pull up next to someone we want to talk to, we still use the universal symbol for rolling down the window by moving our hands in a circular motion.
And that might have been quite a humorous observation on her part, if there weren’t still plenty of cars on the road with non-automatic windows.
John Small Berries Jan 18th 2010 at 09:36 pm 31
Oh, and ‘facetiously’ and ‘abstemiously’ have all six vowels in order.
jp Jan 18th 2010 at 10:39 pm 32
Mark M #19 — Are you saying that your parents’ telco still has rotary steppers??? Wow!
My parents were forced to ditch their rotary dial phones for touch-tone about 15 years ago, when their telco decommissioned their old “racks and racks of cans”. There’s still an old Western-Electric rotary phone upstairs, but it can’t dial anything anymore.
-jp
Arthur Jan 18th 2010 at 10:57 pm 33
Re pulse dialing: It’s important for the phone companies to support pulse dialing.
If they stopped, they’d probably have to ditch the extra fee for allowing tone dialing.
Mark in Boston Jan 18th 2010 at 11:12 pm 34
I told a friend of mine the POLISH-Q joke and he came back the next day and said “I tried that number and it didn’t work.”
I asked how he dialed the Q.
He said “Q is between P and R so I dialed 7 PRS.”
There are some people you just can’t tell a joke to.
Morris Keesan Jan 18th 2010 at 11:49 pm 35
I tried, on more than one occasion last year, to contact Verizon by dialing 1-800-VERIZON (to get them to stop bugging me with hard-sell for FIOS), and kept getting some kind of “number unavailable” message. I finally came across some piece of Verizon literature that gave the actual number (in digits, not letters), and only then did I realize that they intended the Z to be a 9. None of my home phones (including a few pulse-dial-only phones, only one of them a rotary phone) have a Z on them. All my life, when composing alphabetical mnemonics for phone numbers, I’ve always assigned the Z to the “Z”ero, and it didn’t occur to me that anyone would use any other number for it.
Morris Keesan Jan 18th 2010 at 11:52 pm 36
We once told a coworker (not a native English speaker) that the word “gullible” is not in the dictionary. She said, “Really?!?” and started to pick up a dictionary to check. To her credit, she caught on before actually opening the dictionary, and refrained from hitting anyone with it.
Chuck Jan 19th 2010 at 01:47 am 37
“And that might have been quite a humorous observation on her part, if there weren’t still plenty of cars on the road with non-automatic windows.”
Oh, I see. So you say “roll down” only when referring to non-automatic windows. And what do you say for automatic ones?
Molly J Jan 19th 2010 at 02:42 am 38
Usual - what do you count when you have insomnia?
Rotary phones - I have one! It’s an 80’s era Snoopy phone. Fascinates my kids’ friends who have no idea how to work it.
I remember when my daughter was small we were singing the “5 little monkeys jumping on the bed” song with the requisite hand motions. We got to the part of “mama called the doctor” with the standard “hold your pointer finger out and rotate it” motion and my daughter asked “Why does that mean calling the doctor?” Even with a rotary phone in the house it hadn’t really clicked with her.
Usual John Jan 19th 2010 at 06:56 am 39
Molly J - Oh, now I get it! Thanks. I was misled by the sexual approach taken by MrKenneth and Mitch4.
Dan Jan 19th 2010 at 07:36 am 40
I admit I don’t really get the Braille one. Why would he not have to share if the message were in Braille? Cake is cake. Would the others really thing, “Oh no! I have no idea what the message is, so I can’t eat it”?
chuckers Jan 19th 2010 at 07:51 am 41
Dan,
How would the blind man read the Braille message?
By running his fingers all over the words.
By extension, making the cake a bit of an “Ewwww” that no one else would want to eat.
mitch4 Jan 19th 2010 at 08:56 am 42
Achh, of course, it would be by counting the actresses leaping over the fence!
Father Bruno Di Frocco Jan 19th 2010 at 09:08 am 43
Okay; okay. You guys got me looking at my Uniden wireless ‘phones — all of which have both Q’s and Z’s on their keypads. The 7 button is marked “pqrs” and the 9 has “wxyz.” Kinda screws up that old Polack joke.
Molly J Jan 19th 2010 at 09:29 am 44
Achh, of course, it would be by counting the actresses leaping over the fence!
Well, Mitch, I suppose that image might lead to your prior suggestion…
Dan Jan 19th 2010 at 10:19 am 45
chuckers: ohh..
John Small Berries Jan 19th 2010 at 11:21 am 46
Oh, I see. So you say “roll down” only when referring to non-automatic windows. And what do you say for automatic ones?
What I mean is, the term “roll down” is not obsolete, and neither is the hand gesture, because there is still a large number of vehicles extant to which the phrase and the gesture are applicable. The method of operating of a manual car window still enjoys wide enough currency that the concept is not confusing even to people with automatic windows. It’s not like “Hey, people stopped opening car windows with a hand crank fifty years ago, so why do we still use this phrase?”
lynn Jan 19th 2010 at 12:01 pm 47
We never say “roll down”- We say “open” and “close,” as in, “Kids, stop opening and closing the windows - we’re on the highway.”
My daughter’s push button toy cell phone plays recorded messages, one of which tells her to “dial” a number. She asked me what “dial” meant.
DPWally Jan 19th 2010 at 06:39 pm 48
MK#36: One of my friends in college tried “gullible is not in the dictionary”. Friend #2 picked up my huge collegiate dictionary, looked through, and exclaimed “you’re right!” Friend #1 grabbed the dictionary to confirm and fell for his own joke.
docdonn Jan 19th 2010 at 06:46 pm 49
re: cousins… he asked for a kiss, she refused….”kissin cousins”?
Charlene Jan 20th 2010 at 12:48 pm 50
As an aside, did you know that all the American Polish jokes were told up here as Ukrainian jokes?
mkilby Jan 20th 2010 at 05:34 pm 51
@ 51 - And in Germany, those same jokes normally feature ‘East Frisians’, who come from the coastal region of Germany bordering the Netherlands.
Father Bruno Di Frocco Jan 20th 2010 at 09:29 pm 52
Surely we can’t overlook the favorite jabs of those in Ontario: the Newfie joke.
Brian Leahy Jan 21st 2010 at 09:18 pm 53
Strip 4 could use one more panel:
” ‘Waste’ ?? Here me thought it was, ‘Mind is terrible thing to TASTE…’ “