Comics I Don’t Understand

Little Weiner

Cidu Bill on Apr 22nd 2009

“Little wiener.” I get it; it’s a penis reference. I was once eight years old. But what does any of it have to do with Green Lantern specifically?

Filed in Bill Bickel, CIDU, Doug Bratton, Green Lantern, Pop Culture Shock Therapy, comic strips, comics, humor | 26 responses so far

26 Responses to “Little Weiner”

Dave Van Domelen Apr 22nd 2009 at 12:24 am 1

I don’t think it’s Hal in specific, but rather a general “they can tell what religion you are on those outfits” gag, and Hal got to be the target.
Rob Apr 22nd 2009 at 01:03 am 2

I think that the hurting edge of the Flash’s insult is mitigated considering that he’s the ‘fastest man alive.’ Just sayin’

As for the actual joke and why they needed to use the Green Lantern, I don’t know. (… Maybe a subtle stereotype ’cause Hal Jordan is white and one of his successors, John Stewart, is black?) I’m over thinking this.
Kedamono Apr 22nd 2009 at 01:42 am 3

Huh-huh-huh-he said wiener-huh-huh-huh!

That’s about the level of this one.
Brent Apr 22nd 2009 at 01:46 am 4

I think the joke is that superheroes wear tight spandex which would leave little to the imagination in the “package” department on the men. The exact characters are coincidental.
Usual John Apr 22nd 2009 at 07:17 am 5

Selecting Green Lantern is a process of elimination. It needs to be a superhero who’s well-known, wears tights and, preferably, has a well-known secret identity (”Hal”). Superman and Batman are actually too well-known, seem too self-confident, have too much of a visual image. Ditto Spider-Man, except for the self-confidence, but he has a long history of romantic liaisons. Aqua-Man has too much of an image as a wimp. Iron Man, Plastic Man, the Thing, Martian Manhunter? All unsuitable, for various obvious reasons.
Cidu Bill Apr 22nd 2009 at 07:43 am 6

Usual John, Hal Jordan has more of a reputation with the women than any of his DC peers. Not on the level of his cross-town rival Tony Stark of course, but still…
GP Apr 22nd 2009 at 08:23 am 7

I must be missing something. I didn’t see any reason this had to be Green Lantern, other than the fact that he’s the one eating little wieners. Green Lantern is eating pigs in a blanket, Flash makes a wiener joke. It could have been anyone, but it had to be someone.
Daniel J. Drazen Apr 22nd 2009 at 10:19 am 8

GP for the win.
ty Apr 22nd 2009 at 10:37 am 9

I’m going with the superhero/spandex line of reasoning. Perhaps the cartoonist chose Green Lantern because, as a player, Hal would me more concerned than most guys if the ladies mistakenly thought he was under-equipped with, umm, a dinky weiner. Yes, I was 8 years old once, too.
David Apr 22nd 2009 at 10:42 am 10

I don’t know what it was about GL’s costume, but his crotch bulge always seemed just a little more obvious than anyone else’s. It might be the color scheme, with the green torso (looks like a leotard) and black legs, the green winds up giving him a speedo effect.
devildan Apr 22nd 2009 at 11:11 am 11

Usual John: I wouldn’t have gone for Spiderman. For one, it’s a more complicated costume. But the big problem is that he’s a lone hero, not one who hangs out in a Hall of Justice-type computer room with other recognizable superheroes.
Jesse Apr 22nd 2009 at 02:17 pm 12

its just a weiner in tight pants joke…sensing how terrible and uninspired the joke was, he tried to salvage it by incorporating super heroes ala random “Family Guy” esque references.
Daniel Apr 22nd 2009 at 02:24 pm 13

I’m surprised enough that the cartoonist — and Usual John — think that Green Lantern’s secret identity is well enough known that no one would be confused by Flash calling him by that name.
ty Apr 22nd 2009 at 06:28 pm 14

Daniel - The feature is called Pop Culture Shock Therapy. Knowlege of references on that level are assumed.
ty Apr 22nd 2009 at 06:29 pm 15

… on that level *is* assumed.
MoWatt Apr 22nd 2009 at 08:28 pm 16

Dave Van Domelen: Do you live in some culture where only Jews are circumcised? Is that a European thing or something?

Here in the U.S. you can’t tell a guy’s religion by looking at his package, in or out of his super costume.
Kamino Neko Apr 22nd 2009 at 10:04 pm 17

It’s not a European thing, so much as routine, non-religious, non-medically-necessary circumcision is a US American thing.
Jordan Apr 22nd 2009 at 10:12 pm 18

You could get away with that with Hal Jordan. And probably Kyle Rayner, unless he happens to be Ion at the time. John Stewart? You’ll be picking up your ear from the floor. Guy Gardner? You’ll be picking up your jaw. Kilowog? Your entire SKULL.

For fun, try it with Alan Scott. And by “fun” I mean “flayed alive before your nervous system can register anything”. Wally, having been a superhero since he was 15, knows exactly who the easy targets are.
Rainey Apr 23rd 2009 at 08:52 am 19

The fact that it is the “Flash” making the comment could be significant to give this comic a play on words. After I thought about this comic for half a minute, I got the impression that the Green Lantern’s pants split or fell down, thereby exposing something that should not be exposed (hence a flashing experience). The pigs in a blanket are similar to hot dogs (weiners) and would therefore give the Flash a word to use to refer to the appropriate part of Green Lantern’s anatomy when he pointed it out to Hawk Girl. P.S. Overeating food (including pigs in a blanket) can cause you to put on weight which in turn could cause your pants to split.
Jeff S. Apr 23rd 2009 at 04:27 pm 20

# Jordan (#18) You better be careful going after Hal. He’d just go super-hero postal and wipe out the planet, killing everyone on the place. He’s already done it once.

Unless someone had a yellow condom. He’d be in trouble then.
Matt Apr 24th 2009 at 10:51 am 21

# Jordan (#18) So you mean Jon Stewart of the Daily Show or is this a different John Stewart superhero that I have not heard of before?
Philip Apr 24th 2009 at 01:25 pm 22

This comic seems to have it in for Green Lantern, this isn’t the first time he’s shown up here getting the butt end of the joke:
http://comicsidontunderstand.com/wordpress/2008/02/29/leg-of-lantern/
Kamino Neko Apr 24th 2009 at 05:08 pm 23

Matt - John Stewart is the second or third of the Corps-era Green Lanterns - I can’t remember, offhand, if he or Guy Gardner came first.

He’s probably the best known of the Green Lanterns among younger non-comics readers, actually, because he was the GL in Justice League/Justice League Unlimited. (Among the older, Hal, or Alan, depending on just HOW old, and if they ever were a comics reader to begin with.)

Interestingly, both John and Guy Gardner have real-world namesakes, both of whom became famous after the comics characters were introduced - Jon Stewart, of course, and there’s an astronaut named Guy Gardner. Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern ALMOST had this happen - he was originally supposed to be named Alan Ladd (a reference to Aladdin), but the editors thought the name was too obvious, and nobody’d buy it. Guess which actor would appear soon afterwards.
Doc.Bob Apr 28th 2009 at 03:25 pm 24

It could be that the author is a little mixed up here. In the TV series on Cartoon Network, ‘Justice League’ Hawkgirl and GL were an item, BUT it was not the Hal Jordan GL but the John Steward. In the continuation of the series, after Hawkgirl leaves, he falls for another woman, Huntress, and half of that series was the two girls quibbling over him from time to time.
Cidu Bill Apr 28th 2009 at 05:11 pm 25

Actually, Doc, John Stewart started hanging out with Vixen. Huntress had some weird relationship with the Question.
Kamino Neko Apr 29th 2009 at 06:17 am 26

The John/Hawkgirl thing occurred to me - in the form of ‘it’s really too bad that it’s Hal, not John, because that’d be funny’…

But then the joke fell apart because a) they weren’t shy about implying (though they never stated it outright) that John and Shayera had an ‘adult’ relationship (see her conversation with Vixen when they meet), so if John had a small wiener, Shay’d know better than Wally, and b) Wally was rather intimidated by Shayera (the fact that she gave him a good one about his own sexual prowess - ‘I’m the Fastest Man Alive!’ ‘No wonder you can’t get a date.’ - probably didn’t help), so mocking her boyfriend to her face seems a no go.

Of course, I can’t see comics Wally doing this either (and forget Barry…Bart might have, but he never spent much time hanging with the JLA without Jay Garrick watching him). To Kyle, sure, but not to Hal. He’s not a jerkass, and he simply doesn’t have the kind of relationship with Hal that lets him joke about that kind of thing.

Now, Green Arrow, on the other hand…Ollie might pull that one on Hal.

… I have just sucked whatever funny was in this comic out.

… But I had fun doing it. >_>